A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am 13 and Im gay. Recently I've been getting more and more attracted to men and not at all women and I have been looking at gay sex and straight sex and I've always been atrackted to the penis never the woman and although many people say that your not gay when people answer questions similar to mine but it's different with me I know I am gay and I'm actually glad I am because I've had a girlfriend and never really fancied her only saw her as attractive I saw her as a friend and now I know why. The thing is I am moving school soon because my friends found out I was gay even though I told them I didn't see them in that way but they didn't want to hang out I dont blame them really but my question is in my new school should I tell people I'm gay ir hide it? And can u have some help/advice in how to tell my family? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich  +, writes (18 April 2010):
 First of all i believe that you are not the only gay in this earth. 2nd its not a crime to be a gay. 3rd this is your personal life, theres no body allowed to tell you who you should be. If im you" if you think and you feel you are a gay, then be it. Theres nothing wrong to be honest who really we are. but of course theres always consequences we have to face about, some people really see it negative you have to be ready to that. some people they understand it so lets be happy to that.With your parents, i think in the first time they found it of course its normal reaction to get surprise specialy the father. But i think its ok to let them know before they hear it from other person. If you think you are a gay, then better face it now and be honest, let the friends and family get use to it. hey" its ok to be gay, its not abnormal, its alright. sometimes gay are very talented people which i adore. but of course you have also to make it sure to your self that you are a gay before you say it, if you are not sure then think deep before you speak. I wish you good luck and courage in your heart to face this reality.. have a nice day..
A
female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (17 April 2010):
I think you are bit young to be needing to socially establish your sexual orientation. I think a don't ask don't tell policy would probably be the best bet at this point in your life. I agree with MarieClaire, find out the lay of the land at your new school first. See what people's attitudes are, if you make new friends see how they feel about gays before deciding how far invested you want to get in the friendships. Just be cautious. While I agree with RCN you don't want to hide who you are, I also agree with what MC said, kids can be really cruel at your age. You don't need to make yourself a target unnecessarily.
As for your family, I would advise something similar. What is their attitude about gays? You may want to hold off on coming out to them until a point when you can move out and live on your own if they can't handle it. That could be even more damaging to your self esteem if you have to spend the next 5 years living with people who don't accept you. Give it some time.
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A
female
reader, Polaroid93 +, writes (17 April 2010):
I allways find adults say how can you know your gay at that age and stuff! It's ridiculous for someone straight to try and comprehend, it's like when they say "you don't know your in love" but one in 3 marriages end in divorce so I'm pretty sure they don't know!
I agree that wait to tell your friends but don't make it a massive anoincement also your friends might nit be as mature as you, just bear that in mind
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 April 2010):
 First, with school, if you're gay, don't hide it, if you're not don't say that you are. You need to learn early, it's not okay to hide who you are, because that's a form of not accepting yourself.
I'm not gay, so I can't advise you on telling them. What I would say is connect with a boy your age who has come out to his parents and ask how he went about doing so. All I can offer, is that if you were interested in gay things, like cloths, playing with dolls, lack of playing sports etc. you're parents may already have an idea.
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