A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:When my b/f is under pressure at work; or has too many bills he just shuts down in the sex department. We have sometimes gone 3 weeks without intimacy. Is this normal in a happy relationship? I guess it's frustrating to me because for the first 3 years of our relationship we had sex almost every night. Now granted I really don't expect to keep that pace going forever, but I'm thinking perhaps once every couple of days, or every 3-4 days but not 3 weeks. That is unreal to me. Should I be concerned that something else is going on here?....Like he's losing interesting in me, or falling out of love?
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male
reader, Problem.helper  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 My friend got into stage of life when you are past 40 you're getting little calmer. Talk to him. It differs on the person someone cant be without sex more than a week and someone can do whole month with no problems. You need to show him than you need it. Turn him on with some new stuff that you didnt do. That excitment turns man from stressed guys to guys who doesnt care anything in that moment just you. But if you are not prepared and just start to give him clues you want to have sex that doesn't turn him right away he's not 20 anymore :).
A
female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (17 April 2010):
 I do believe any physical illness, stress in work, or stress in the family or not even illness as such, being tired and run down... anything can lower libido. But as long as you have intimacy in other ways and tell each-other that you love each-other. This is rather than getting into arguments on a daily basis, which can easily happen if there is stress going on. So a lack of physical intimacy, a lack of emotional intimacy and daily arguments, really does a lot of harm and love and hate is very close. So it depends on how much intimacy is lacking and for how long. Fiona
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 Stress and anxiety may very well affect and dramatically decrease anybody's sex drive. You say this problem has recurred in your couple. If also the other times yr bf lost interest in sex only when he had problems at work or money troubles, and he got back to "normal " once the problem had been solved or the bills had been paid, I guess that's just his modus operandi,his way to react in stressful times, and has got nothing to do with you
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 April 2010):
No. The moment a man gets stressed, you can be sure his sex drive is affected. This has nothing to do with you at all. And there is nothing else going on. He's just stressed and stress affects a man's libido.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2010): I think that you should try to get him in the mood lol. Buy some fancy lingerie and/or talk to him about it. If you have been together for three years then you two should be comfortable talking to eachother and if he is upsetting you then he needs to know it. Tell him how much you enjoyed it in the past (major ego boost for him) and explain why it's so important to you. I'm sure he won't complain ;)
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