A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi, Need some aadvice. Have been in love with a married man for almost 16 years. Problem is he is married and so am I. He knows I love him, as I went and told him. He has admitted to me that he likes me too. He is married to my cousin and they recently moved countries to where I live, as he had an affair in his country which produced a child. His wife went mad, as you would expect but she forgave him and they are doing OK now, which I'm very glad.But since I can see him every day now, instead of once a year, I'm finding it very hard to cope. Was hoping feelings would have disappeared over time but they have only gotten stronger. I love my husband very much but in a different way. This guy flirts with me all the time and the way he looks at me drives me crazy. It's killing me, seeing him. Have tried so hard to back off, and when I do, he is asking me what's wrong, am I OK? His wife is one of my best friends even though she is my cousin. Our kids go to school together so it's really hard to try avoid him. Tried to fall out of love with him but that didn't work either. Been crying a lot over this. Please help .
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affair, best friend, cousin, flirt, married man Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (9 February 2006):
Move away and leave this poor woman and her family alone! He is out of bounds and you should respect that. How much of a betrayal do you think it would be if you and him got together?
After all he got another woman pregnant in another country as well! Do you think you will somehow *tame* him, grow up, get real and focus on your own marraige.
Leave him alone. Friends don't do this kind of thing, especially NOT to a friend who is also a family member. Just get your hormones under control!!!!!
A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (9 February 2006):
It's too bad everything is about you. Leave him alone!! He's not yours. He already had an affair and produced a child. He must really love you, sleeping around all over the world. He's a dog and if you continue to stick your nose, or whatever, where it doens't belong, you'll get fleas. Cherish what you have. Work on your relationship at home, not elsewhere. Have some self respect.
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A
female
reader, charlie432 +, writes (9 February 2006):
unfortunately there is nothing you can do. you need to let go of your feelings for him otherwise it will destroy both of your relationships and lives. your cousin comes first over him, you both have children you need to think of, so you need to leave him be. it will be hard, but it's the only thing you can do! charlie x
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