A
female
age
41-50,
*9angel
writes:i am 32 years old unmarried girl from india, wanted someone with true love but i dont know how i got stuck with a married man,since 7 years i kepton loving him, we did foreplay also, but never let him do the penetration, as i just wanted my husband to do it with me and it could be worse if he leaves me, we used to talk everyday as he lives in another city and 2 or 3 times we use to meet in a year, but from my end i loved him to the deapth from my heart ,knowing the fact he we never be mine i kept on loving him, please answer some of my questions.1 why i am stupid and loved him unconditionely?2 how should i marry someone else if there is no love.3 will got punish this man as he has spoilt my life, wasted a girl's feelings.4 have i done wrong if not allowed him to do complete sex with me or its a wise decision?5 why he is not interested in me now we just talk sometime when i ask him to call me and he calls me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, carebare  +, writes (25 October 2010):
Getting involved with a MARRIED person and letting it continue for this long is kind of the issue at the root of all your questions, but that being said and done, where does that leave you?
1. Only you can look within yourself and decide why you care about this man so much, though I cannot feel sympathy for "the other woman", which is what you are.
2. If you continue to see this man and love him, that's where your heart will be and you can't fall in love with anyone else if your heart is already with him. Step one would be to cut him out of your life and move on.
3. Two things here. Firstly, you got yourself into this situation by getting involved with a married man, so if you felt you wasted your feeling on him, it's because you chose to. Were you expecting him to leave his wife for you? Secondly, whether or not god is going to punish this man for hurting you is not an answer you're ever going to get anyway.
4. There is no "right" or "wrong" when it comes to deciding when to have sex with someone. In this situation however, I would say that it would be wrong of you to sleep with him because he is married. That aside, deciding to have sex and do whatever else with your own body is your own personal decision and you shouldn't feel pressured to do otherwise.
5. Why does he seem disinterested? Could be any number of reasons; the "spark" between you two is gone, he may have wanted a more physical relationship, he's found someone else who's more convenient, etc. You could ask him. He might answer honestly. Then again, he might not.
Bottom line: Forget about him, move on and find love with someone who can love you back. If you don't let go of him, you're going to be stuck as the "other woman" or a lonely pining spinster and I'm sure you can do better.
Best.
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