A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating this great girl for almost 6 months now. However, I've now met someone who I'm pretty sure would be a better match for me in many ways. I have a major crush on her.I don't have any particular issues with my current girlfriend. Perhaps if anything I'm getting a little bored with this relationship (I've had 2 long term relationships before this, so getting bored is a new experience for me).I am currently at college and my gf is going to college next school year, so she will be far away. This new girl is in the same year as me at college.I feel really bad for even THINKING about cutting the relationship off as I'm the type of guy that tries to the bitter end to make relationships work out (I've never dumped anyone). My gf really is a wonderful person and I would hate to make her unhappy at all. She says I'm the best bf she's had (which I can believe. Trust me on this) so it really would break her heart if we split up.So my problem is whether I should stick with a working relationship or move to one where I would be happier.I think I should stay with my gf, at least for the next while. But I'm not sure about the long term. To be honest I can't see any MAJOR problems in the future that would cause a break-up, so if I wanted to get out of it I'd have to just dump her. That's completely against my nature, though, and I would hate myself for doing it.Thanks for your time, thoughts and ideas.PS As I side note I'd like to say that I never have and never will cheat in a relationship. This situation is the toughest that I've ever been in though, but I will resist doing anything stupid.
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female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (1 December 2010):
 Breaking up with anyone who hasn't done something seriously wrong in the relationship just seems so cruel in my mind.
breaking up isn't an act to punish something like infidelity.
some relationship end because someone new comes,or because things are good but not really that wonderful anymore.
dont make the same mistakes so many guys make. and that's SETTLING. settling for less.
Before u break up with your girl make sure you kiss the new girl.see how the chemistry is. ask her if shes serious about you and tell her u need some days to consider what ur going to do.
in break ups,people hurt.dont think ur gonna go through it without hurting.
but life is full of risks.
good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): Look, I think it's commendable that you don't want to hurt your current girlfriend. But, let's get real here. You can't date people without someone getting hurt (unless the first person you date you marry after a blissful courtship -- hah!!). It's all a part of the trial and error of trying to find someone you think you will want to be with...if not for life, then maybe for a significant period. Or, maybe even just for shits and giggles. But, at your age you should be testing it out and dating around and finding out what is out there. Your current gf will be fine. Sure, she will be hurt but she will realize that it was just not meant to be and she too will eventually move on. It's not the end of the world, it's just dating.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've already spent quite large amounts of time with the new girl (just on a friends basis, although we're getting close VERY quickly). We've spent hours just messing around and talking. She is aware that I have a girlfriend, although they haven't met. They will probably meet soonish.
I just feel so sick just thinking about this situation. Breaking up with anyone who hasn't done something seriously wrong in the relationship just seems so cruel in my mind. You're basically saying that you want to break up because of who they intrinsically ARE, and not because they've made a mistake.
I would have no idea how to do it either, especially since my current gf loves me so much. ARRGrgRgg.
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A
female
reader, mylove09 +, writes (29 November 2010):
aw you seem like a guy who cant break a girl's heart. but really sooner or later your going to end it with this girl. yea your both are going to hurt but before trying to make someone else happy you need to put your happiness first. my opinion as a girl, is to break it off. really. your doing her a favor also.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (29 November 2010):
do what ur heart desires.u only live once. get to know the other girl on a friendly basis,before u decide to dump ur girlfriend.
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