A
female
age
30-35,
*uds123
writes:hey every1!me and my bf have been going out for more than 3 years and we're both 20(im a month older. He works at least 4 days a week so we only ever end up seeing each other once a week and we text for like 2 hours a day. I feel like this isnt good enough but im not sure if my feelings are justified. I have told him before that this gets me down but somehow he always makes me feel guilty for saying anything.He is a good bf in other aspects it just feel like we dont see each other enough for such a long term relationship. any advice would seriously help!
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female
reader, puds123 +, writes (13 July 2010):
puds123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks chigirl your advice was great!!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 July 2010):
 Try to work out a deal with him on when you meet, like a set plan. This and that day around that time you will always meet? As it is now, by the sounds of it, you are/place yourself at the bottom of things to prioritize. First work, then work for family, then friends and at last you? Bump yourself up that list and agree with him on set times and days a week to meet, and then he can fit his friends in after he has made sure to have time for you?
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A
female
reader, puds123 +, writes (13 July 2010):
puds123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey everyone
thanks for the advice, we dont meet up after he works generally because he gets alist of duties to do for his family and then he needs to fit in his friends so it just feels like im a burden and take up his vital time.Maybe its me expecting too much or being too sensitive.
Thanks for the help again.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (13 July 2010):
I'm in an LDR, that has been successful for just over a year now. I only see her at weekends really. But I make a huge amount of effort when I do see her, and I talk to her every day over the phone. The key is that every time you are with your boyfriend, the time needs to be of real quality. You need to be doing things together, and spending a lot of time together just being a couple. Some couples spend all their time together, but the quality of the time is awful and the relationship breaks down. When you do see him, make sure you're both putting effort in and having quality time. And, as Chigirl says below, maybe you can meet after work sometimes, even if it's just for an hour or two.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (12 July 2010):
 I know how you feel but I'm in the position of your boyfriend. I work 5 days a week and have long hours sometimes, 12pm-11p...
I feel like I never spend time with my bf and I live with him!!
But I simply cannot do anything about it. I need the hours and my boss relies on me to be able to work the hours she has chosen.
I know it's hard and job's can cause alot of stress on your relationship but we need job's in order to survive.
Try to come up with some ideas that will not interfere with his job. It's tricky but I am working on it. :D If I come up with any good ideas I will let you know.
P.S. Be supportive of him...he will want to spend more time with you if he feels you understand and support him in his job. He will make more of an effort to be with you and will think how lucky he is to have such a wonderful girlfriend. ;)
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (12 July 2010):
Perhaps try calling each other after he is done at work? Why is it you can't see him on the days he works? Unless he works 12 hour shifts I don't see why you can't meet up after work? But, you meet basically half of every week. That is not little. Maybe you need to find a way to cope with it without feeling that you loose touch. Write him cute notes now and then, and make something special out of at least one of the days in the week, like go on a date together.
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