A
male
age
36-40,
*opeye78
writes:Ok i broke up with my girlfreind and i really took it bad, she had revealed lots of intimate secrets to me(about sexual abuse in the past) i promised her i would not tell a soul. During the break up I became a real mess. I had to speak to somone and i told her secret to my freind. My freind (who is a girl) knows my girlfreind aswell not that closly though. I swore her to secrecy. What do i do? I really feel like I shouldnt have told her now.. do you think this was real bad?
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broke up, confidence, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): I feel you should of never did such thing if it wasnt supposed to get out then you should confess if first because if she here from someone else she gonna feel betrayed not only that if she wonted every one to know she would have told them just come correct with her and be a real man about yours.
A
male
reader, popeye78 +, writes (31 January 2010):
popeye78 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThey are not close freinds, they are more aquaintences and the freind i told is a very nice person who has told me she will not ever mention it again or tell a soul, she told me that this is not gossip and she wont ever,ever tell anyone. I am not going to tell my ex girlfreind. I really want her back and I think there may be a chance. I told my freind just so she could understand things I suppose. WHY DID I DO IT!!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010): In fairness, it wasnt a very nice thing to do. And expecting your friend to keep quiet about it, brings a wry smile. You didnt keep it private, so dont rely on your friend to do what you obviously couldnt! In fairness to your ex, you should come clean and tell her what you did. Atleast then she will know her secret is out and not private anymore. So should anyone mention something to her about it in the future, she can be prepared with some responses. Its the only decent thing you can do now.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010): well you shouldn't have told but now you have there is no going back. I think also you are make amountain out of molehill. what is the secret that can't be told? has she killed somebody? for christs sake!the best thing is to find yourself another gf and forget this one.
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A
male
reader, popeye78 +, writes (31 January 2010):
popeye78 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just needed someone to talk to, what have I done? oh god
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010): the friend promised she wouldnt tell a soul and i do trust her,I told her that she must never tell anyone or i will never speak to her again. but the thing is me and my ex may get back together, i just needed to talk to someone face to face and it was an awful laspe of judgement...
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A
female
reader, curious0hot  +, writes (31 January 2010):
 Yes, you were really wrong to tell someone else about your girlfriend's past.You should tell your friend that she shouldn't tell anyone else, and hope the information doesn't get around to more people.
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A
female
reader, sick  +, writes (31 January 2010):
i want to be very honest with you, what you did was a terrible thing and it may be difficult to find a way out of it. the only step i think you can take right now is to tell her what you told the other person. believe me, if you don't, in time, she will find out and any chance of making things better between both of you will come to an end. that is life. in as much as it may be difficult to accept, there are some mistakes we commit that are irreparable. the best we can do is to own up those mistakes and take responsibility for them. in time with a prudent and sincere heart, the world will take it's course and she may find it in herself to forgive you. in the mean while, don't make more mistakes. it's so easy for us to get drawn into doing stuff that we don't mean when we are hurt. but still our hurt is not an excuse to cause further hurt to other people... particularly to the people we love.i guess you've gotten out to learning the first lessons of love. so congratulate yourself... today, i bet you, you're a better man.
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A
female
reader, princess1512  +, writes (31 January 2010):
ok, so u told her secret to a common friend! Not nice on your part but now, what can u do about it? You cannot possibly take back your words! So, if u feel comfortable enough, tell your ex and tell her how guilty u feel. Hopefully she shall understand if the common friend you told is not going to spread the word further. Make sure, the common friend doesnt tell a single soul which is kind of difficult to ensure. But, u gotta do what it takes and fast. You dont want your ex to hear from a third person about her personal life about which shes told only you probably!!
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