A
male
age
36-40,
*ottenhamhotspur
writes:I need some encouragment. I am 26 years old and just going to college. I am having some money problems with school loans so I may have to drop out, but I will pursue my education none the less. I am worried that no quality woman I would want to be with will ever be interested in me. I don't have any money, I don't own a car or have much to offer in that way. I am a good person and have some great qualities, but I am afraid that things like my bad credit rating and my lack of money and possesions will make it impropable to find a mate. Any encouragement or advice for me?
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male
reader, tottenhamhotspur +, writes (26 September 2011):
tottenhamhotspur is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everybody
I should make it clear that by no means am I a deadbeat guy or cheap or that I depend on others. I've paid my own rent and bills for the last 5 years and I have no intention of having anyone else do it for me.
If a woman is willing to be patient with me, I can definatly change my direction and have the money I need to contribute to raise a family, but it might take me a little longer than it would for most guys, particularly at my age
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 September 2011):
 I get the feeling that you are sort of piloting the question to be answered : don't worry , true love is above money questions, you can surely find someone who loves you for yourself.
I won't deny that; often love is blind and reckless ( particularly at beginning in the " falling in love" stage , before reality sets in )- I guess panhandlers have got girlfriends too.
BUT you said you want a quality woman and yes, for a quality woman words like " drop out " " bad credit " " money troubles " will sound alarm bells, without her having to be a greedy materialistic bitch.
A quality woman is a woman who respects herself, and respect herself to the point of not letting herself be saddled with a man 's financial mistakes, or letting herself being sucked into somebody's financial drama, jeopardizing what she has achieved and worked for so far. A quality woman will appreciate a quality man, and being , if not successful, at least able to attain and mantain a sort- of- decent standard of living IS a quality, no more and no less than being kind or sensitive or polite etc.
Work on your issues, and strive to straighten up your financial situation first, this will give you access to better quantity and quality of women.
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (26 September 2011):
If you are going to college then it is normal to not have much money. Maybe you will find a girl at college who is in the same boat as you?
It is true that women are turned off by men who have financial problems or who can't support themselves (and possible children) but I think if you are still studying it is hardly the same thing.
Work hard at college and I am sure you will go on to find a good job and work out any financial problems that you have at the moment.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (26 September 2011):
 Hey, i do kind of agree with pinktopaz, but i do beleive that if someone truely wants to be with you, then matrielistic things and money should not be a big issue. I come from a very poor family, me and my mother have lost our home and have had to live with my grandmother, we struggle sometimes to afford enough food, and things like clothes we have to make last for as long as possible. We do beleive we are lucky tho just to have each other. I do agree that if you do expect your potential partner, to look after you and provivde everything for you then, sort out your own problems first because not many women would want to have that piled on them in a relotionship. If you can still look after your self despite money, then simplely try and bring out your romantic side, if you don't have enough money for dates, then simpley go to a park for a picnic or just stay at home and watch a movie look for free things to do and just be yourself. In my opinion if a women truely does like you then they should stick by you through hard times and good times that includes money problems too.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (26 September 2011):
I think you should work on your issues before you date someone.
I'm not trying to say that all women are shallow, but I think that most women like a man that has some sense of security or has his life somewhat settled.
I think a lot of women aren't wanting to date a guy that they will have to take care of. I'm certainly not interested in dating a guy that I will have to drive around everywhere and pay for all the entertainment.
So I'm sure you can find someone, but don't expect her to have much more to offer than you do. And if she does...she won't put up with it for long. Hope I'm not sounding too harsh, but I've dated a guy like you and I've had friends that have dated similar guys and it starts to take a toll on the relationship.
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