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I'm worried that even though we are blissfully happy right now that it will all end in heartbreak!

Tagged as: Love stories, Marriage problems, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 July 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 July 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *m9hi writes:

Im 18 nearly 19, iv been with my boyfriend for 1 year now who is also 19 and its been amazing, I never knew another person could make me this happy, hes tought me how to live.

We were away for a weekend together a couple of months back, and after a night out he got down on one knee and purposed, I never took it seriously because we had both been drinking, I thought he was joking. However, ever since then he has been dropping hints thats hes going to do it again. My mum and dad went through a really bad divorce when I was young, and through my experience of this I never believed in love, I didnt want to get close to someone because I didnt want the heartache. I suppose I believe my boyfriend seems to good to be true and its going to end up like my mum and dads marriage, but should I let this effect my future?

I am truely happy with my boyfriend and feel genuinely lucky to have meet him, and would love to spend the rest of my life with him, but again I just feel hes to good to be true and that its all going to go wrong and im going to be left heartbroken, I know its up to me to make this decision but any advice would be greaful. Thanks x

View related questions: divorce, heartbroken, my ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011):

I was exactly the same as you when I met my soon to be ex husband 7 years ago. I also thought he was too good to be true, so scared of getting hurt, as my parents devorced to when I was young and it was messy and nasty. It took a long time for me to let him in, but I did, we were together 7 years and married 2 of those, I thought I had met my perfect man, thought we would be together forever, always told me he hated cheats and he could never do anything like that, wanted to have a baby with me etc etc. So just before my 2nd wedding anniversary (my son is 9 months old) i find out he as cheated on me and not with just anyone, my best friend and she was enagaged to be married to his best friend. He hurt me so badly, but I can't have no regrets because I got my gorgeous little boy but having said that I would never have married him if I thought he was capable of this. My point being that anyone is capable of hurting, you have to take risks in life I suppose and no matter how scared you are it might turn out to be the best risk you will ever take but you will not know unless you take it. I know for me it is going to be difficult for me to meet and trust another man but I do not want to be on my own forever so it is something I need to work on, I have become a better, stronger person for what I have been through and I would do alot of things different if I met the right person. I know right now I wouldn't ever want to marry again but at the same time you just never know. Is he worth the risk? Only you can answer that right now, if you do get hurt you will come out the other end a better and stronger person but do you want to be on your own for the rest of your life? Life is about taking risks....Good Luck

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A female reader, Tye United Kingdom +, writes (16 July 2011):

if you say your lucky to have this guy then dont go woorying about a possible break up that might happen far in the future. live in the hear and now. take advantage of the fact you have him now. it sounds like you are perfect for each other and very unlikly that you will break up.. and if you do it will be for a good reason. You should defenently not let what happen with your perents affect your life and relationship... trust me it wont do any good. If you love him that much it shouldnt matter.. like i sed live in the here and now

hope this helps :)

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A female reader, misztoria United States +, writes (16 July 2011):

misztoria agony auntYou are young, trust me I was in your shoes and it didn't last. I even have a child with my ex who I was with for four years. I say if you guys can keep the relationship strong for another few years then go for it. I don't believe people should get married so young. There's a lot of things you should experience before settling down, but I do wish you the best.

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A female reader, Ima FreAk!  United Kingdom +, writes (16 July 2011):

Ima FreAk!  agony auntHiyaaaa,

Firstly just because your parents get a divorce that doesn't mean it's going to shadow your future.

Secondly if you eliminate the option of divorce than there wouldn't be a divorce because most people have an option of divorce like it would be the last option kinda thing but if you didn't put it as an option you would go far in life, because you would try and solve things as hard as you can.

Thirdly don't think about the future you know because it's not good for a relationship you know... you can think of the future but leave it spontaneous because that makes a relationship worth it.

If you constantly think "Ohh a little fight... does that mean divorce?" it won't.

Honestly you know what makes it worse about divorce, that celebrities have divorces and think it's soo easy but it's not its hard and a lot of money is involved, trauma but if you just simply enjoy the good things about your boyfriend, if you have one little fight it's not the end of the world because love will patch the hole up and just don't think about the divorce.

Just let your love shine through!

Hope my advice helps!

Good luck!

Lots of love

Ima FreAk!

x

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