A
male
age
41-50,
*hmywrd1111
writes:I'm worried my grl friend of almost a year tht she is going to cheat on me on the cruise she just left on .ee didn't have sex for lie three weeks before she left and she loves to have sex she says only with me but I was busy working and her too and just to tired last few weeks whn time to hit bed . Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2015): @Honeypie:
The survey found that women cheated more on trips than men do. That is the bottom line. I see no reason why the polled group being cheaters should invalidate that finding.
The survey is not saying women cheat more than men overall (those numbers are probably pretty close IMO.) It says women are a bigger cheating risk on trips out of town. My real life experience is not scientific but it very much supports that finding too. So I believe it.
(BTW, this is not the only piece of research I have ever seen on this, just the only one I could google up easily yesterday.)
None of this proves the OP's girlfriend will cheat on him on a trip. If she is not cheating at home and does not have a history of cheating already then she probably won't. Being female does not make her a cheater.
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (5 November 2015):
It's very simple. You only have control over your own actions, not other people's. Statistics and laughably bad "studies" like the one posted in the answers be damned, in the end there's absolutely nothing you can do to control other people's actions. So you can work yourself up over the possibility of your girlfriend cheating OR you can TRUST HER and see what happens.
The foundation of a good relationship is trust. And knowing that if someone cheats on you, they will do so regardless of whether you worry about it or not. Like I said, you are not the puppet master, you do not own people. Loyalty can't be forced or bought. And trying to get it that way anyway will only make your partner resent you.
I once had a boyfriend who watched my every move. When I talked to a guy from class, he wanted to know every single thing about him. I wasn't allowed to invite guy friends to my birthday party because he was so afraid I'd cheat on him. It got to the point where he wanted me to check in with him where I was every single hour. Well, his controlling behavior smothered me and made me lose respect for him. I ended the relationship soon after that, though in hindsight I should have ended it the moment he started treating me as an object instead of a person.
If you (and this goes for anyone who might read this) are so insecure you can't give your girlfriend enough space to breathe and live her life, you're not ready to have a relationship.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 November 2015):
 Thank you nonny, interesting read. Though... did you read the first paragraph?
"over a third of (already cheating) spouses can’t keep it in their pants while on vacation solo or with friends."
So this is a study done ON people (married people) who are signed up on a British “married dating site” IlicitEncounters.
Which means the "study" is of 800 men and 800 women are ALREADY cheating. Basically of the 800 female CHEATERS are more like to cheat on BOTH husband and "lover" while on holiday, and CHEATING husbands are more likely to bring his mistress with him.
I would not call this a "study" that shows what the general public does on a WHOLE - as they survey is done (unless I am misreading this "study") on people who are ALREADY living a lifestyle where cheating seems to be the norm. I mean, they are SIGNED up on dating site while married.
Now if the "study" wasn't made with participants who were ALREADY cheating it might give some credit to the notion that woman cheat more on holiday. I am betting THIS study... is made to boost the "married dating site" more than anything.
That is NOT an indication that people who aren't cheating WILL cheat on a holiday.
Still interesting none the less. Thank you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2015): @ Honeypie:
http://gadling.com/2010/07/22/women-more-likely-to-cheat-on-vacation-than-men-says-new-study/
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 November 2015):
I would LOVE to see the actual and factual research that say women cheat more often vacations & trips than men do. Can you provide a link nonny?
As for you OP, If she isn't cheating at home and your relationship is doing fine (except for the little lull in sex the past 3 weeks) I really wouldn't worry.
It is quite possible for a GROWN woman to have fun on a cruise without having to have sex with some random dude.
Has she given you reasons not to trust that she can be and IS faithful?
3 weeks of no sex is nothing in the scheme of things. There will be times where schedules don't mesh well, or illness, family obligations etc. Basically sometimes LIFE gets in the way of a very active sex life. As long as BOTH parties understand that it is temporary or are OK with it, it's not going to fall apart on a vacation.
And I will presume she on a cruise where she can relax and have fun with friends.
Do yourself a favor and don't let your imagination run away with you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2015): Women do cheat more often on vacations & trips than men do. Research proves it.
But research is about statistics not individuals. If she is absolutely not a cheating risk at home then don't worry about it. If you feel is a cheating risk even when she is at home then yes I would worry about her doing it on a trip.
If sexual frustration is the only problem then she needs a vibrator. Sexual frustration is no excuse for anyone to do anything wrong, period. Most men probably deal with more hopeless & intense sexual frustration during their teen years than most women ever will in their lifetime.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 November 2015):
 What else other than not having sex causes you to not trust her?
Cheating is more than just scratching an itch. IF a person cheats it's because of multiple reasons.
you have been together a year, do you not trust her or is this about your self-esteem?
I could leave my husband for a year and not cheat on him... not physically or emotionally. To be honest for me EMOTIONAL cheating is worse than physical cheating.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (4 November 2015):
Is this just about sex? Okay, perhaps she did want sex and was frustrated that you weren’t in the mood, but countless couples experience these kinds of problems at some stage in their relationship. There’s a world of difference between feeling frustrated with your partner and feeling so unhappy with the relationship that you’d actually be prepared to cheat and put it at risk. I can’t help wondering if you have been hurt before? Has some-one cheated on you before? Or perhaps you have some kind of insecurity and don’t think you’re desirable or good enough for her. It’s hard to say as I wouldn’t like to speculate and you don’t give much background, but I do wonder why you are overreacting in this way because you don’t give us any good reasons to suspect her of being a cheat. Just ask yourself whether she has actually done anything to prove she isn’t trustworthy, or whether this is about you feeling anxious and insecure about yourself and therefore choosing not to believe her. I would also encourage you to try and put some time aside for each other because intimacy and yes sex do matter in a healthy relationship.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (4 November 2015):
Why are you worried? Have you given her a reason to cheat on you? Have you not been loving to her or pushing her away that she feels she needs the comfort of another man?
If the answers are "no" to all those things...Why are worried?
It's understandable to be a bit nervous your girlfriend is going away without you...yes...But this is also where trust comes into play. If you cannot trust her now, then why are you with her???
Now is the time for you to man up, and show her your love is solid.
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