A
female
age
36-40,
*missyourkisses
writes:I met this guy about a month ago when I visited my friend out of town. They are roommates. My friend has told me that he is a very nice guy etc. We hit it off really well, hung out a lot, got physical but didn't have sex. Until I met him I had pretty much given up on guys but I have never met anyone as sweet as him and we are so similar and got along so well and had great conversation. I know he is attracted to me physically and likes my personality also. Since I've been back we have been texting almost daily. He's told me that he's decided everyone around is a waste of time and that he wishes he could see me. I have no doubt that he is genuine and I know he's not a player. My concern is that when I told him I missed him he said to come visit. I told him to visit here but he said he was broke (my friend confirmed this was true). I took this as him saying he didn't really care enough to find a way to see me. Cuz I've always felt that where there's a will there's a way. I'm worried that I like him more than he likes me. I don't want to be lead on. Who knows how long this communication will continue. He might even find someone else. I know its only been a month so I don't want to say anything yet and I'm not even sure how I'd bring it up. I would go visit him but only if he did it first. Should I still have hope or just mentally move on? if I should move on, how do I do that?
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move on, player, roommate, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Eyespy17  +, writes (20 June 2012):
Well if he's not even texting then i guess that your answer. If it were me - I would just call once and flat out ask him what's going on. I'm all about closing all doors and having no regrets or "what ifs".
If he doesnt answer then be glad you know now. Then save the $$ you would have spent on the trip for something you want.
A
female
reader, imissyourkisses +, writes (19 June 2012):
imissyourkisses is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice. He has not texted me in many days and my friend told me he thinks he has lost interest in me. Oh well, thanks anyways
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (17 June 2012):
 I agree with eyespy and pinktopaz...you could always go visit once and see how it goes. If he is paying off bills, he may not really have any money. I would consider visiting, but perhaps stay in a hotel instead of with him. You don't want to complicate matters by possibly being intimate with him.
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A
female
reader, imissyourkisses +, writes (17 June 2012):
imissyourkisses is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the replies so far. Honestly I've been led on by so many guys before I just don't want a repeat of that.
He is by no means a deadbeat. He has a decent job but apparently many bills and student loans. I will try to stop reading into it so much for now, but like I said I'm just trying to protect myself from heartache.
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (17 June 2012):
You like him and you want to see if you have something - then go visit him. Once. If you have the money.
I agree where there is a will there is a way - but maybe he's really hard up and he's not sure of your feelings for him.
If you have the means - go. But do not pay for anything for him while there. Go for 2 or 3 days for YOU. You don't want to have a "what if" hanging over your head for months.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (17 June 2012):
Just because he's broke, it doesn't mean that he's not interested in you. Depending how far you live, he may not be able to afford the gas to get there and back and then he can't afford to take you out on dates. He may like you, but until he makes more money, he can't "afford" to be your boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (17 June 2012):
Plus, I agree that if it's been a month and he hasn't found a way to make some money or get some money to visit you, he isn't that interested.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (17 June 2012):
First, he told you to come visit, so apparently he likes you. He's also told you the reason he can't come visit you...he's broke. My concern would be why is he broke? Does he have a job and just struggling to make ends meet or is he unemployed? Not saying that he is the type, but I have known a lot of guys that are always broke and they always get women to pay their way. The women somehow end up falling for these guys and end up in bad situations. If he is broke, and you go see him, what are you planning on doing? He won't have the funds to do anything (dinner, movie, whatever), so why waste the money on your trip? I wouldn't go, but that is just my opinion. Tell him you'd like to see him when he can afford to go somewhere and do something fun.
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A
female
reader, justinette  +, writes (17 June 2012):
 jeez you are reading so much into this i mean you cant judge him just because he couldnt come and visit you ...you still have enough of time to know him better just take things slow ( = no sex lol) really i dont want you to end up heart broken ...keep seeing him and enjoy your time ...good luck *hugs*
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 June 2012):
 Note your excerpt: "...but he said he was broke (my friend confirmed this was true). I took this as him saying he didn't really care enough to find a way to see me. Cuz I've always felt that where there's a will there's a way."
You are projecting your expectations on to him... and unfair thing, for sure.....
You made a startling leap, then, to profess that you are more interested in him, than vice versa....
If you keep it up, I predict you can scuttle this potential relationship before it gets too far along...
Good luck...
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