A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need help :(I'm insecure. And my esteem was starting to build up nicely with my new bf and then i found out he was still in contact with his ex, and they are close friends. Now I am back to where I started. I want to talk to him about it but I do not know how. I fear his ex still likes him too, how am I supposed to know he secretly doesnt want her back. I feel so lost and down and there's nobody to talk to. Please, advice me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): Cheer up! He should really have told you they were still in contact instead of you having to find out! And its a bit odd they are still close friends but youve only just found out that too. So tell him hes looking suspicious and ask if he thinks theres a chance they will get back together. Usually if its a grand passion people dont stay in touch afterwards, unless its to fight! Do they fight? Probably they just werent right for each other but got along ok as fiends. In which case i really dont think you have much to worry about. Get to know her too. If hes not keen on that idea ask him why.
A
female
reader, Emjo  +, writes (3 December 2009):
 Oh dear, I know exaclty how you feel. Deep down I'm sure you know that he's with you because he wants to be and if he wanted to be with her he would be... but its still hard to get your head round. You must be constantly worrying about them rekindeling their lost love or whatever but when these thoughts spring to mind you need to remember that they broke up for a reason!
I also think that speaking to your boyfriend about this is a good idea, i know it can be hard, whenever stuff like this arises in my relationship I get a bit worried if i mention things im going to look possesive or jealous or something along those lines, and i cant tell you how your boyfriend will react, but maybe you could try explaining your worries, tell him you do trust him and love him? if you do... andc if not care deeply about him, which is why you felt you needed to talk about this. You dont want to loose him etc... just tell him how you feel but be diplomatic about this :)
Good luck x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 December 2009):
He's with you because he wants you, not her. If he wanted her, he'd be with her. Tell him you need a not of reassurance, and put effort into your relationship.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (3 December 2009):
If he wanted her back he would dump you and get back with her.
If he's with you it's because he wants you.
Just tell him you are feeling a bit insecure and ask him to reassure you that nothing is going to happen with her through them being friends.
Good Luck!! xx
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