A
female
age
41-50,
*oon2bmarried
writes:I'm getting married this upcoming November. although my fiancee and i have been sexually active in the past, we have abstained from actual intercourse for the past year and a half.i've rarely had 'woman on top' sex (one of the things i was trying to save til marriage) and am now wondering if i can get comfortable with the position both emotionally. and physically.Emotionally, i find myself quite self conscious. i have large breasts, so all the bouncing about is very distracting for me and i'm don't feel comfortable with my tummy.Physically- frankly, its a bit uncomfortable. my thighs hurt and after some time, they burn from the effort. i am a plus size (18). Is my size the problem here? how can i have comfortable 'woman on top sex'? losing weight is not really a consideration as the fiancee loves and prefers my body being larger....he is really looking forward to me being on top and i'd love to give him this....any advice here?
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female
reader, Soon2bmarried +, writes (31 May 2008):
Soon2bmarried is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the honest answers....its a relief to know that i dont have to bounce around up there for 30 minutes, ;)
i'll take it in small minute increments and perhaps stick to this position when the lights are low...until i build up my confidence with my body and truly accept that he is enjoying himself...
thnx again!
A
female
reader, blackbeltbaby  +, writes (24 May 2008):
 as a plus size woman myself, i used to be very anxious of my size when my boyfriend wanted me to be on top, but just remember that you are not expected to go for ages with no break...
roll around, you on top... him on top... switch and just enjoy it... do what you can and add some more when you feel confident.
embrace your body, this man wants to share his life with you, and likes you being large... be the sexy confident woman that he sees in you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2008): As for the legs hurting thing, apart from towards the end, i try and vary the pace. Like, every so often slow it down a bit, maybe kiss or caress each other's torso's to give your legs a bit of a rest and then keep going for a bit. As for your size, my boyfriend loves girls on top sex purely for the boobs aspect and the fact he feels like I'm taking control. If your man loves you for your body then you have no reason to worry about your tummy. Its a proven fact that when guys are aroused they pretty much follow basic instinct and the hormones released mean that all they want to see is your naked body and the hormones/chemicals released make them very happy with the world (and what they see) so they aren't going to be thinking negatively about your body anyway! And if you feel self conscious, just think to yourself, for a guy it is incredibly sexy if you seem confident during sex, act confident and ignore any little worries, he will get more turned on by your percieved confidence and then you should feel genuinely confident because your sexiness is really turning him on! Good luck hun, and congratulations in advance for the wedding! xx
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A
female
reader, ladyday25 +, writes (24 May 2008):
gotta say, this is my absolute favorite posish! I HIGHLY reccomend it. I had a really hard time with the self consiousness as well for a while. Personally, for a long time i would ONLY do it in the dark (no lie) with a blanket near by, but once i really began to let go and enjoy the sex, it became a lot easier to do. Honestly, it is the only way that i have an almost garunteed orgasim, other ways, you never know.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (24 May 2008):
 My first thought was that you feel insecure about yourself. Maybe this is indeed the problem. Then I thought that maybe you just don't like this lovemaking position. Some positions you like, some other you don't.
The physical part could be overcome. The more you do it this way, the more your muscles will get used to it. The emotional aspects are another matter. I would try to ascertain which ones are more important, but my guess is that the emotional aspects are the real problem.
He won't find anything wrong with you. Is there something about this position that disturbs you, other than the bouncing?
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A
female
reader, velvetluv21 +, writes (24 May 2008):
You sound like I did many years ago. At that time I was a size 10 and thought I must be the fatest person out there. Now i'm a size 16 and am actually more comfortable during sex. My boyfriend, like yours, likes or doesn't mind my size. I was always scared to be on top. Always scared how I would look or if I would be any good at it. What I came to find out is that it is my favorite position because I get to control everything and it is the only position I can have a vaginal orgasm. Once that happened all gloves came off and it was my game. I didn't care how I looked or what he thought... I was the guy now. I got to do what I wanted and didn't care about anything else. I've had 2 boyfriends comment that they like the weight on their bodies and that it feels better. Don't fool yourself... most guys don't like those pencil thin girls in the bedroom. A black room, some alcohol, and some confidence always makes everything better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2008): You dont need to lose weight, you're fiance already thinks you're beautiful and I doubt some big bouncing boobs are likely to put him off either! If he loves you enough to be in bed with you then he is happy enough with your body.
But seriously if you find it uncomfortable- which many women do- you dont have to do it, there are plenty of positions to try out there. But if you're set on this, just take time to get to know which position is right for you on top, it will get easier with time and practice.
xxx
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