A
female
age
36-40,
*mok23
writes: BackGround Info: :We were close friends in High School I loved him , but I assumed we would never be together. I assumed he was seeing other girls and I was getting ready to graduate and go off to college. My home life wasnt the best and I didnt want to be a complication in anyone's life let alone his. My thinking was purely immature ( I was 18 then Im 23 now) I admit that , but I was trying to find my way and in the process I got lost. I dont have 2 many excuses I just know that there wasnt a day that went by I didnt think of him. He called a month straight after I graduated , but I never answered. This was in 2004 .. Fast foward 3 1/2 years and we're back in contact ( my doing) there have been alot of ups and downs between us , but now I think we may be making ''ok '' progress into being friends again.However he keeps asking me why I came back, why I left in the first place, and what I want from him. I have no hidden agenda's and honestly I just missed him being here , I missed him as a person. He keeps telling me that nothing could ever be the same ( he says this all the time) and for awhile he refused to see me. A week ago we went out to lunch and he apolgized for not telling me he ''kinda '' liked me when he was younger . . because he was simply young. He kept saying how he didnt know that I had gotten so funny and that we should hang out again. Well yesterday we slept together ( in the past we slept together 3 times , but that's not where my love came from) while we were ''doing it'' he told me once or twice that I had lost him . I didnt understand and I told him that . . how could I have lost him when he was in my house , sleeping with me. Now dont get me wrong I know he's a guy and the can easily just sleep with u , but this is the same guy who for the past 2 month's has told me we had no real reason to be talking , texting , or hanging out. He told me how I never cared about his feelings when I just ''walked '' away. And he also told me that it was girls like me that turned him into a d@ and % head Huh ??? But then he goes and says he doesnt care about the past . .if he didnt care y keep bringing it up ?? Better yet I told him that if he was having indiffrent feelings about me being back in his life It would hurt me to leave , but that's what I would do. He said nothing , but slow and surely he started texting me once and awhile. I know this is all over the place Im just going off the top of my head. I really need help .. I dont want him to get hurt , but I know I have to look out for me ( because no one else will) Did we just make things worse by sleeping together ?? What's his deal ?? Am I crzy or are WE crazy ??
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2008): It sounds like to me that you were pretty clear back in high school that you did not want to stay in touch with this guy let alone talk to him, he tried to call you for a montha and you didn't even pick up.
Maybe he formed an opinion of you from this and he is comfortable and safe holding on to it.
If you wanted to be back in his life then I think it should have been on a friends basis for a long while so that you could rebuild your foundation as friends. You two are no longer in high school and you both have changed surely so you need to respect that and learn about each other before diving into bed.
From what he says to you in bed and what he has done since just giving you a few texts, he has been disrespectful of you by sleeping with you and saying those things about how girls like you turn him into a @# Jerk....he was warning you not to expect anything more from him after sex.
I think maybe it is time to keep this guy in your past and let him live his life without you in it.....and move on, you have nothing to apologize for except for hurting his feelings, but the past is the past and both people have to be willing to forgive and forget, but apparantly he isn't going to budge or let go of his opinion of you from long ago, he may struggle to hold onto it now that you are back, but he doesn't feel safe doing anything else....I would leave him completely alone, he isn't showing that much interest.
If he does start pursuing, then you can start wondering about his every move, but right now it is a waste of time and energy.
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