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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I've just turned 22 and never had a girlfriend, it's made me realise I'm actually useless with women. I've had a few drunken one night stands (Protected of course) but never experienced a relationship with a girl. It's easy enough going clubbing and chatting to girls thanks to some dutch courage but when I'm sober I don't know the first thing to say to a girl. I've got into loads of different situations to meet girls at work and the gym among others. I've even joined a dance club even though I don't like dancing. I know it seems desperate but to be honest I am. I'd love to have a girlfriend but I always fall at the first hurdle.I come accross so awkwardly towards them and after a bit of small talk I usually find myself mumbling and coming out with a load of conversation killers, which usually destroys any hope of her being interested in me. I have so much to give but no girl ever seems to warm to me. Please Help.
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at work, clubbing, drunk, never had a girlfriend, one night stand Reply to this Question
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female
reader, justjess  +, writes (4 April 2011):
 ((hugs))you'll get there, dont try and rush things (easier said than done I know), your GF will come along soon enough and then you'll wonder why you ever worried.Try not to act desperate, but don't worry about nerves just get out there and try, hell I HATE speaking to people I dont know but I was at the shop the other and chatted to some guy easily. Just keep your eyes open for opportunities, eg if your in a bookshop or something and a girl is buying a book you've read tell her you recommend it, it's easy and could well lead into a conversation :)Good luck, just go with the flow and smile
A
male
reader, honestman  +, writes (4 April 2011):
I got my first girlfriend at 23. I never used alcohol, so I never had 1 night stands [although some alcoholized girls wanted to have sex with me though]. With her, I was first his friend. I was very in love with her since the first time I met her. After of couple of years of friendship and some hardships, we decided to be a couple. We didn't have sex after 1 year after being together.If you want to have a girlfriend just for sex, you'll have to be very patient, depending on the girl. I wouldn't recommend you to be in a relationship just for sex though, because she will think you are just using her just for sex, and she'll dump you or feel miserable. And my final advice: practice. Go out there, and start experimenting talking with girls. Try new stuff, and see what works. Also, practice with girls you are not interested in, so when you are ready to speak with attractive girls, you'll be mentally prepared.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2011): Hi there, Id say your perfectly normal given your age. Most guys are not good at small talk anyway at least not until they get to really know the girl and feel comfortable with her, i find anyway. Your prob just shy, don't try so hard for a gf, these things have to happen naturally. Become friends with girls first, expecting nothing more, this would also mean not having sex with them, just simple normal friendship, over time feelings for eachother may develop, but you will hav already build a foundation of friendship so it should be easy to talk to eachother.My advise is this, dont be so shy, focus on positive things about yourself, your personality/apperance and you will conme across more confident, dont rely on alcohol. Any girl worth having will resepect a guy much more if he doesnt rely on drink to speak to her. It won't be easy but anything worth having always requires effort. So go for it you like everybody else deserve to be happy :-)All the bestD.x
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