A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:well there's so much to say i dont really know where to start. from the very beginning will make most sense. i've known my cousin Adrian ever since i was born. he's a year oler than me and we've always been very close. we told eachother everything, made excuses for eachother, laughed at eachother's jokes, everything! our childhood together was great, very exciting and memorable. however once we hit our teens, our feelings grew into so much more. it was hard to understand, farless to explain. all i knew is that he wasn't just a cousin anymore. i felt a tug at my heart everytime he smiled at me, i felt my knees go weak every time he touched me and when the feelings were just undeniable i wasn't sure how i was going to deal with them. i spent a lot f time thinking about him, an natually i spent a lot of time trying to deny what i felt. but when i i was 16 and he was 17 he told me he loves me. my heart raced in my chest out of happiness and fear. but all i could've acte on was being happy. i told him i loved him too. we of course never tol anyone about it. but we spoke to eachother everyday since then. over phone conversations or text messages. sometimes he used to tell me that we'll run away together, but we both knew we love our family too much to do something like that. after two years i met someone else and i knew it hurt my cousin. and after me and the other guy broke up, it was very hard for my cousin to trust me again. a few months after my break up , i left the country for a year. while i was away my cousin called and told me he loved me again an said he wished i never left. i cried like a baby that night, thinking why did something so beautiful and and strong have to be considered as "wrong"when i came back to my home town, i decided that we were too old to continue with the "relationship" and it had to stop. when i told him that, he played it off really well. saying that he's been over me for a long time. however, we started going to school together recently and over the past few weeks i feel my heart fluttering for him all over again. i told him about it, and he replied saying that he never stopped thinking about me that way but when i came abck home and said we had to stop, it felt like a kick in his face and he felt foolish for still loving me when i just looked at him as a "phase" i really truly do love him. when i said we had to stop, i was trying to do the right thing. for us and for our familes. if our mothers heard about this, there's no doubt about it. . .they'll disown us. i just don't know where to go from here. help me please.
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (23 February 2013):
 if your parents disown you, they did not love you to begin with.I think that you should do whatever you guys want to do.love is not something that you feel every day. You be doing yourself a great disservice by not following through with your feelings.the right thing is not to appease people that judge you for being in love, it is allowing love to happen.
A
female
reader, fallingrace67 +, writes (2 November 2009):
If you really love him you need to forget about what anyone else thinks... Find a way to explain it to your family, they might not understand it but they're your family and they love you. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Schizkid +, writes (1 November 2009):
You really need to have a serious talk with your cousin about how you both feel. If you decide to go ahead with a relationship, you will run into a lot of resistance. also, you did not say if you are first cousins, distant cousins, etc. There may be some genetic issues to consider. It's good to follow your heart, but make sure you use your mind too.
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A
female
reader, PixiePie  +, writes (1 November 2009):
 hey, just wanted to add my own personal experience to this. I've had a closer than regular relationship with my cousin for as long as i can remember. it turns out he has been in love with me for over four years. we always had a sexual kind of relationship, dirty texts was the furthest it ever went though. but he was always there for me, the one i knew i could always turn to, to the point where i took him for granted. it was about a year ago when i was going through a really rough patch with my family, my mum had hold of my phone and i ran away. i fled to my cousins house and it turns out that my mum was there, ready to let his parents know what we had been up to through text. but it didn't stop there, he couldn't keep away and sadly i needed company. it upsetting to me now that i used to treat him like that. when i moved house he used to come and pick me up from college and we'd spend some time in his car together before i went home. i've always known he loved me but it was this year that it started to become blatantly obvious. it was six months ago and my friends told me to watch the film and read the books of the twilight saga. it was then that i realised if i was bella, my cousin was my edward. a few weeks after that we were in his car and without thinking i kissed him. i wasn't sure what i was doing or how i felt about it but i have never regretted it since. i left my bf for him and i have never felt so in love, wanted and cared for. i never knew what devotion to someone truly was before him. we are now engaged and hoping to start a family. the risk to any child has been of concern to us but the chance is small and i want us to be a family. to those who say it will mess up your family they are wrong, yea it causes friction and by no means is our family used to him and i as a couple, but his parents are happy if we are happy and though my mum doesn't like it, she is still there for me wen i need her as she is my mum. i just wanted to say to all those small minded people, that its not just about sex, its not just the thrill of hiding it, it is not wrong, by law or my moral judgement, and we are not harming anyone, either family present or what we are blessed with in the future. he is my soul mate and i would not trade in a day of my life in case it meant i lost him.what i'm trying to say is, follow your heart, because that is what will make you truly happy in the end.
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A
female
reader, MinnieM +, writes (31 October 2009):
You need to make a decision on what's more important to you? being the so called 'good girl' that you think your families want you to be OR being true to your heart & living a happy life? The fact that you haven't run away together makes me think that you've already made that decision, but as we get older we are able to become more independent from our families emotionally & their support becomes less relative, if this is the case & you think you could still make a new start with your cousin should your families disown you, then tell him how you really feel.......
Whatever you do you must decide & abide by your decision so that your cousin can try to find some peace in his life!
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