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female
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anonymous
writes: I feel so desperate i dont know where to turn. I have been wanting to end things with my boyfriend of 3 years (who lives with me) for a few months now, and normally i wouldnt hesitate, as i know i will be fine on my own, but he has made himself such a huge part of my familys life that they would actually be devastated. He is best friends with my brother, and my 12 year old son would never forgive me. To make matters worse, my father died suddenly 5 weeks ago,so i know i shouldnt be making any life changing decisions now anyway, and now my mother is leaning heavily on him also for support, and i cannot take that away from her. I feel completely trapped. He is also very stubborn and i know for a fact he would walk away from all of them if we split, just to spite me. He is making me so miserable (without even knowing it) that i cant even concentrate on grieving for my father properly. I just cant see a way out.Desperate
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female
reader, zosey +, writes (22 August 2006):
 hey, ino things are hard at the minuit, but i dont think living with someone hu makes u unhappy is a gud idea, ur family will always be there for u, its ur choice hu ur wiff not ur families, ino its hard but maby u shud ask for sum chill out time ask him to move out for abit so u can have time aloine for grieving or u cud move into ur mums or a friends if he wonrt move out, it may be hard but wats best for u shud be important to u and maby it wud be better for u to consentrate on urself insted of ur family for abit, take care, hope evrything goes ok, zoe x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006): If he doesn't know he is making you miserable then you need to tell him then maybe he will change. If this doesn't work, at the end of your day, he is dating you not your family. You have to do what is right for you and in time, I am sure that your family will come to terms with this. Maybe you should test the water by introducing topics into conversation with your mother and brother such as complaining about the annoying things he says and casually saying stuff like sometimes I wonder what life would be like without him. Then you can judge their reaction and take it from there.
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A
female
reader, Tine  +, writes (22 August 2006):
 well yu cant stay in this relationship for the sake of your family, it is you who needs to be happy not your family. It is YOU who will have to go in this relationship unhappy and it'll not be fair on you. However it is great that you are thinking about your familys feelings but dont you think that you are thinking about them a bit too much? If he will be stubborn and walk away from them too just to spite them then he obviously isnt the golden boy that everyone thinks that he is. Your family will want you to be happy and by leaving him he needs to realise that he can still keep in touch with your family, it is you both who are splitting up not you both and your family.
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