A
female
age
26-29,
*ougatxxx
writes:ok so a year ago i came out to a friend who i thought i could trust, turns out i couldn't when i came into class the next morning and questions where being thrown at me saying "are you gay" i was so shocked i mean i thought i could trust her i told her because i was scared if i told my parents there was the chance they may not be accepting. for a couple of years i was bullied really badly but my real question is that when i was in english class yesterday we were going discussing gay relationships and the rest of the class where saying this like "its wrong" "its disgusting and not normal" i just sat there and i had to agree with them so they wouldn't acuse me of sticking up for gay people and they would think that i am gay myself I just wish i could be out and proud and not have to hide my real self, so my question is how do i do this do i come out and risk that i could be bullied agian or do i keep it quiet and have to agree with all the homophobes? advice would really helpThank you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2011): Just straight up look them in the face and say "yeah i am, are you?" the best way to approach homophobes is to laugh at them when they try to laugh at you. It's worked for me well. I've been out sience 8th grade. Its hard to do at first but you just got to show them you are who you are and you dont care what they think! Don't supress who you are, just because society doesnt accept it. and if you do have issues with getting some crap for it. I suggest Therapy, its helped me tremendosly! but the worst thing you can do is supress who you are. and besides it will help you weed out who is really your friend. Best Wishes!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): I am afraid you are going to meet people all your life that are not accepting of gay people, it's not right but that's just the way it is. The good news is that as you get older you will be able to handle it and be out proud, you will grow in confidence, and not care what they think because you are you.
I wouldn't bother telling anyone at school, it isn't any of their business anyway.
You will know when you feel right about telling your parents. you will probably find that they know or think it anyway, my son told me when he was 18, but I was just waiting for him to be ready to tell me.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (19 June 2011):
 Hi darling
Well i was about your age when i was 100% sure that i was gay and my friends at school where the same, they either thought it was gross or something to make a joke of, but this is not what people really think, it is because they are young and don understand, i am 21 now and most of those people have gay friends and family which they are fine with and some of them are even gay or bisexual.
I just dont want you to think this is the way people will think and behave your whole life because they wont! at college people were more excepting and now at uni nobody could care less about peoples sexuality.
If you really feel you cant sit and listen to them say things without standing up for yourself or telling people that you are gay that is up to you, but i would advise you just for now your sexuality isnt anyone elses buissness anyway so i would just keep it to myself untill you feel you are strong enough to hold your head high and not let it upset you when people make comments.
I hope this helps
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): I'm not gay but a few of my friends are gay and they all told me that they stayed in the closet until after highschool because highschool students are immature weather they are seniors or freshman they are immature and even in college kids can be immature i believe people should do what they want so i dont have any problem whatsoever with gay friends but the only way i can see you not being bullied would be to stay in the closet i know you want to be out and proud and alot of people do but staying in atleast until the end of school would help you alot you may not like it but immagine the bullying you got just for suspecting you were gay imagine it worse for actually knowing you were gay do you really want that? for years to come?
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (19 June 2011):
 It is a shame that people are still forced to hide because of the ignorance of others. It is an even greater shame that you have to hide it from your own parents. But how trustful are you of your parent's love? Is their love for their own daughter so fickle and faded that you can no longer trust them to be your parents? Have they ever expressed a hatred for homosexuals?In your heart you wish you could let it out but the fear of others keeps this secret locked up inside you. Is it any comfort knowing that you'll not have to see these children ever again after a few more years? What about your friends? Surely there must be some that would stand by you. I truly hope you can keep yourself from believing their words, being gay is not wrong at all nor is it unnatural. A part of me wishes you could find the courage to stand up for things you believe in, regardless of what others think, that you might even change their minds about it. Another part of me thinks it is best that you keep it a secret, you should not have to suffer by their hands for simply choosing to love someone different. What are your school's policy on bullying? Surely there might be teachers who could help you? Those who are educated enough to truly help you with this.I think if you are planning on telling anyone, you should start with your parents.I hope that helps.
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