| A ,
anonymous
writes: I'm 17 and I like one of my brother's close friends who is 20. I found out the other day that he liked me as well, and wanted to date me. When I talked to him 2 days ago through messenger, I stalled and kept him from really 'asking me out' by telling him "I have 'personal problems' right now and that I need to solve them before we should date." He told me he had been there before and that when I could, talk to him about it. I told him I would email him about everything but before I do, I want to make my full decision and stick with it.He's been looking for a 'serious girlfriend'. I think, though, that he only reason he wants to date me is so he can just say he's dating someone. He's really sweet to me and all, but he has a serious ego problem. I can't stand guys who have egos. =/ I really don't think dating him would work out at all in the end. Though, I might be wrong?I've asked several people, and they said that 'dating a brother's friend' never works out. Is this true in most cases? Anything anyone can tell me will help out so much.Thanks. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008): im in nearly the same situation! im kinda seeing my brothers best mate he's quite a bit older than me! but i really like him, don't see him often though! :( i know they'd freak out, :( so i can't say anything, and i doubt it'll ever become anything more!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007): I am currently in the same situation. My brother and I are twins and I hung out with him alot and became good friends with many of his friends and vice versa. Many of his friends have asked me out and he has asked out many of my good friends. I have always been careful with these situations and have tried not to date his friends.However, two years ago a friend of his asked me out and I gladly accepted. We were really into each other and my brother really didn't seem to have a problem with our relationship. Sadly, we ended up having some problems and he ended up breaking up with me. The break up in itself was horrible. To make matters worse, my brother brought him over to the house a few times after the break-up. I felt that I could have gotten over the whole break-up sooner if he hadn't kept popping in and out of my life and house. The ex would sometimes come pick-up my brother and he even went as far as sleeping over once when his current girlfriend kicked him out of the house. A second time my ex brought his new girlfriend over and it would deeply upset me. When situations like this would happen I would get upset at my brother, especially since I didn't want to know anything about my ex. I understood that they had been friends long before I dated his friends, but it also killed me to see my ex. I hated the fact that my brother didn't take my side in the situation since felt my brother was suppose to take care of me and protect me. The fighting put a dent in the relationship between my brother and I. My recommendation is you take into consideration the relationship between your brother and yourself and the relationship between your brother and his friend because it can damage all these relationships. Weigh out the pros and cons and only make a decision once you are completely serious and have thought it out because boyfriends can come and go but your family is always there.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2005): Wow, I am in the same position practically.
I am 17, he's 19 almorst turning 20 and he is one of my brother's close friends.
But he doesn't have an ego problem and all we do is kinda flirt with eachother, but I get the feeling he may have a slight interest cause he always drops these little hints.
I know this is months later, but for anyone else wondering... it could turn out wonderful and be cool for everyone or could be really akward ya know, cause if your friend is talking to your brother and like yeah me and my girlfriend... did blah blah blah, your brother is going to want to know what his baby sister is up too. but ya never know something wonderful caould result out of it, for instance wanna my friends is engaged to his friends sister. And my grandpa met my grandma because he was friends with her brother, and they've been married for over 50 years!!!
So it's either way you look at it. Just do what you think you won't regret.
...............................
A
reader, Your big sis +, writes (9 June 2005):
 You are so smart! You already see his fault of his big ego. You are right, don't pursue him. It could be that he wants to get with you to feed that big ego of his. Also, imagine the odd spot you'd be putting your brother in. He does not want his friends to make fun of him because Ego Guy tricked you too, (along with alot of other girls). It's not very wise to date your brother's close friends. Your brother could resent you for it.
...............................
A
reader, Angel-lee +, writes (9 June 2005):
Hi, dating your brothers friend isnt at all a problem! its up to you who you date and vice versa. If you want to be with him (and you're sure about it) sit down and speak with him and decide from there if you want to become an item. Dont hide it from your brother, sit down together with your brother and his friend and tell him that you really like eachother. If you brother doesnt like the idea dont rub it in his face, let him get used to the idea, he will come round. The only problem there could be is that if things dont work out, your borther will blaim his friend for hurting you or vice versa. At the end of the day, its down to you. If you really really like this bloke then go for it but tell your brother first, it will be better coming from you. Dont forget, your brother has grown up with you, he cares for you dearly, think how angry he would be if his friend doesnt treat you right. There friendship could be over. So make sure you are both sure that this is what you want before you put it on your brothers shoulders afterall brothers and sisters are there to worry and to care for eachother.
...............................
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (9 June 2005):
 I think the thing here is that you are tempted to go on a date with him, but you do say that you dont like his ego.. so i think you have already told yourself that you dont want to go out with him, but at the same time because he is older you are flattered and think that maybe this will get you noticed somehow... maybe just be freinds for a while and see what happens, if you already think that it wont work out then it probably wont as you have convinced yourself that it wont. i wouldnt say that dating a brothers mate is a disaster sometimes it can wrong and other times it can be great... the only concern that there would be is that he could end up treating you mean or somethig and that in turn would upset your bro, but that doesnt mean it will happen, its not a no go area, its up to the individual. If you get on great and hang out for a while you can see if things will pan out.. but if your not sure that you want to take the plunge then look for someone else. Just becuase he has asked you out doesnt mean that you have to if you dont want to. Maybe just leave it for a while and see how things are, you say hes just looking for a girl to date, perhaps he is... but at the same time he could be a completely different guy when in a relationship, only time can tell on that one. its up to you, if you think that is ego thing will not get in the way, and your not overally bothered that hes your brothers mate then go for it. If you feel to concerened with this issues then wait a while, there is not rush and being friends can only help and maybe let you see how things will pan out. The key is to do what you want to do, not what you think others want you to do. Take your time and see what happens.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2005): It didn't work for me, and he and my brother's friendship has suffered greatly. Looking back, it was kind of selfish of me to risk their friendship for the bliss of a new romance.
...............................
|
