A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI'm with my current bf for past 4 years , had our ups and downs. But for past few weeks our relationship is going downhill. He stopped even trying to be nice, just stopped putting any effort in the relationship, no fights and no talking as well. It's like I don't even exist anymore, talks to me only when needs money else nothing. If he is so miserable y can't he just break up with me, whenever I try to have serious conversation with him he mocks me or insults me or tells me I'm nagging, I don't nag him. I don't know what to do now, it's like I'm the only one trying to keep this relationship going, it's so tiring when he doesn't put any effort. I still love him, I seriously don't know y I still love him but I do, so I don't want to break up with him, but I can't do this forever, I'm feeling depressed. Please help me
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female
reader, MoniqueEE  +, writes (15 March 2015):
He won't end it - he's ignoring you and being petty, so how exactly do you expect him to be mature enough to end it?
Are you giving him mobey when he asks for it? If so then you are just his ATM. I'm sorry but once the respect is gone, the entire relationship is doomed.
Please do yourself a favour and take some time away to look at what makes you happy. If absolutely none of it includes him, let yourself build up the courage to break free.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 March 2015):
 Well, if you GIVE him money when he ASKS for it, no wonder he is reluctant to breaking up with you. YOU are his ATM, nothing more.
WHY on Earth are you waiting for HIM to break up? What exactly are you getting OUT of this relationship, other then loss of money, being ignored, treated like dirt?
What IS it about him you LOVE so much? It is the guy he USED to be? When you first started dating? Because the GUY you describe on your post IS not a Keeper and YOU know it.
I get that you rather be treated as a doormat then be single, but unless YOU start to PUT yourself FIRST, no one else will. Certainly not this cad.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 March 2015):
 He will never voluntarily break up with you until he can treat you like s..t, AND still ask you for money
( and get it, I guess )!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 March 2015):
 Maybe you need to take some time apart for awhile. You may just realize you are happier without him, plus it will more or less force him to consider the relationship. I usually don't advise trial break-ups but in this case I think it's warranted.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 March 2015):
 He wants out and is too chicken to break up with you.
this is not going to get better.
I understand you don't want to break up with him, but he's forcing your hand.
the best thing I can advise you to do is to stop rowing the relationship boat.
IN other words,
do not call him
do not ask to see him
when he calls you, be happy and cheery but do not ask things... only respond to his requests.
DO NOT ask to make plans.
DO not accept last minute plans
and whatever you do DO NOT lend him or give him money.\
and no sex.
sit back and let him row the boat for a bit and see what happens.
you say you love HIM
but do you love HIM as he currently is or do you love him as you WANT him to be?
make a list of all the things you WANT in a partner.
Then make a list of all the things that are GOOD about this guy... not the things you want or hope for but the actual good things about him.
then look at the list and figure out if you are in love with the man you currently have or the man you hope for and want him to be.
If he is NOT what you want currently, then make your plans to end it. Sounds to me like if you say "NO" to lending/giving money and no to sex he will leave.
Let him go.
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