A
female
age
36-40,
*eno
writes:Hi Everyone,I recently found out that my fiance is a member of an online dating site which really upset me.I glimpsed at the lap top and his e-mail box was open and there it was.I hope I am overreacting but he always told me how he doesn't ever want to create any kind of online profile because he doesn't have the time nor wants to have one.I didn't confront him about it because I know that he loves me and as bad as it sounds I thought that he might have hooked up with someone a few times since I was abroad for almost a year which is a long time for a guy to be without a girlfriend.I tried to let it go but I couldn't and wanted to find out more so a few days later I checked his e-mails and his phone.I found an e-mail from an ex girlfriend of his who he obviously kept posted about things in his life except for me and in one e-mail she wrote that she would like to stay in touch with him but only as a friend and that she only needs 1 lover in her life(she is married).A day or two she called him in the evening and he didn't pick it up.I confronted him about her and he said that they talk a few times a year and his responce to my question if he was still in love with her was she is married with kids !A few days after that he deleted her as a contact but it could only be so that I don't see her number on his call list.I also found this other girls number in his phone book that he has never mentioned to me with a photo attached to her contact info where she looks very seductive.He has a new phone so he added that contact either recently or he took the time to transfer her info onto the new phone which is really fishy. Could it all be just sircumstances?I am really upset about the whole situation but don't want to argue with him I love him very much and I know that he loves me too and I would have never thought he would cheat on me if it wasn't for all that.Please tell me what you think about the situation and whether you think I am overreacting?Thank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (30 August 2009):
 Sounds fishy to me. You might be looking for reassurance that it doesn't sound fishy. Sorry, it does. Look into it further.
A
male
reader, guywithlove +, writes (30 August 2009):
Well...i guess all this looks fishy to me...i can not tell you for sure if he is innocent...and yes he might have had something quickie what that girl in his contact last!
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (30 August 2009):
 I don't think you are overreacting. he has a profile on an online dating site?? There is no need of that while he is your fiance. You should confront him about this immediately. He needs to delete his account.
Now as for the ex-wife, I wouldn't worry too much about that where she had made it clear her husband is her only lover.
But this other girl you have every right to be worried about. Confront him to on this girl. Ask to meet her and try to be friends with her...it might help to understand the intentions she has with your fiance.
Good Luck, I hope your fiance is not cheating on you.
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