A
male
age
36-40,
*opeye_loves-cuspi
writes:I can't work out what i have done or am doing, i am at my wits end emotionally and its because me and my wife are fighting over pretty much nothing.When you love someone, you know them, almost better than what they know themselves, so you know when something is wrong and how hard to push and when to back off and leave them be, but with my wife right now, i have zero way of knowing what reaction i will get on anything, from a question about what to make her for dinner, or if she is ok.I asked her tonight if she was ok, because i saw, felt and knew inside of me that something was wrong, i asked her once, she said no, but i knew something was wrong, so i asked again, softly, and then what i can only describe as world war 3 broke out and i was left feeling guilty for even caring about her, and thats not something anyone should feel. Its got to the stage where i darn't ask anything, ever to talk to her about something, because i don't want the fight, the yelling and the guilt on me for wanting to have a chat. I love her with all my heart, soul and will till the day i leave this earth, but i don't know if we are screwed or not. Anyone shed any light on this, with fresh eyes? Thank you and sorry its a long one. Reply to this Question
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reader, popeye_loves-cuspi +, writes (16 February 2012):
popeye_loves-cuspi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would like to thank those of you that took the time to read this or answer, but unfortunately, we have decided to separate from eachother as its continuing and getting worse as each day goes by and to the point where crying is all i do and nothing else.
Thank you all.
A
male
reader, popeye_loves-cuspi +, writes (9 February 2012):
popeye_loves-cuspi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, sorry its taken 24 hours to reply to your replies, was unable to.
And thats not the title i gave this problem DearCupid!!!
When we fight, its basically her getting so so uptight and defensive, ranting at me that im digging and that i always want to talk, and this comes about after seconds of me asking whats wrong, not asking over and over again, she just goes into it and i really mean in to it.
We have the usual stresses that i think most have in daily life, with bills and work and stuff, but nothing out of the ordinary or more stress than usual.
I don't think she is having an affair, she can't be as we have so much time with eachother and irs happy time, we socialise together with others aswell, so the affair is not the reason.
Sometimes i do get the feeling that she isn't interested anymore, that she has had enough, but then that goes away when her kind relaxed self when its cooled off, i am genuinely confused, unsure and lost at sea..
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A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (9 February 2012):
 You can't force someone to talk about something if they don't want to. Back off!
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (9 February 2012):
 Does she ever mention anything else when she yells or does she yell about the situation only? When you asked her if she was okay, what exactly was she yelling about? What did she say?
I think a little more information is needed. Obviously talking to her will not work unless you are ready for an argument. Is she stressed at work or at home somehow? How long has this been going on? If nothing else works, try couple's therapy. I suspect she might yell about that as well but it is worth a shot unless of course, she may not feel anything for you anymore. But we cannot assume that. Every marriage has their ups and downs, we just have to determine whether or not it is possible to fix this or even, whether or not it is worth it.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, mck5  +, writes (9 February 2012):
My girlfriend does the same thing. The way I see it is that there probably is something wrong, even if you didn't do anything. With my girlfriend and I, it's just her wanting to talk about something, but she doesn't want to bring it up and she wants me to make a fuss over her. I think she would most likely get over whatever it is eventually. If it was anything really serious, or anything involving you, you would probably know about it. Good luck and I know how you feel.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2012): My instinct is that she is having an affair. You probably don't want to hear that, but it sounds to me like someone else has caught her interest and she is occupied by the thought of someone else and would rather fight with you than pretend like she's interested in you.
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