A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a 26 yr old man currently dating a 43 yr old that has a 18 yr old daughter and 2 younger boys I am finding a hard time not becoming attracted to her now she is of age me and her mom have been together for a few years now what should I do I am starting to think I have more feelings for my girlfriends daughter than my girlfriend do I talk to one of them how would u even go about approaching it and a very long shot but how could I find out if the mother even cares we have a somewhat open relationship?? please help Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2013): after reading everyones posts I have realized that ya all of you are right.I never expected really for the sharing thing to be accepted when its put I sat and really thought about it and considered everyones advise ya I must be out of my mind thinkin that might of had a chance.I do have feelings for her daughter she is just such a sweet cool down to earth girl and over the last month we have spent a lot of time together It's just easy to connect with her.Whereas as far as her mother I say i'm dating her for lack of a better description me and her mother use to work together started hanging out a lot and gettin drunk and rest is history but me and here dont offically consider ourselves boyfriend and girlfriendIt's the craziest situation ive been into in my 26 yrs thus far thanks everyone for input prolly saved me from doing something stupid
A
female
reader, Kindpigeonette  +, writes (12 February 2013):
You know what to do -- and it's not your girlfriends daughter!!
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (11 February 2013):
This is exactly why I caution women about dating a man who is significantly younger than them. You are 26, she is 43. In 7 years, she'll be 50, and you'll be 33 and entering your prime career years. At 33, a man can easily date a woman 25, or half your gfs age at that time. Like it or not, life is all about options, and for most men a 25 year old woman is going to be a more attractive option than a 50 year old woman, given they have the choice.
That said, being attracted to your gfs daughter reeks of taboo. My advice to you is stick with women just slightly younger than you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 February 2013):
 I am an older woman who has always gravitated towards younger men. Thankfully I have sons...
My current husband is 39 and only 11 years older than my oldest child. He gets along very very very well with my younger son who is 26....
I can tell you right now if I was seriously dating a younger man who decided he wanted my daughter he would end up ALONE.
Because
a. blood is thicker than water and there is no way I would have raised a child to view mommy's partner as an acceptable catch
b. If he told me he views my child as an appropriate person for him to date while he was with me, I'd kick him to the curb.
Here's the deal... if you are "with" the mom and yet you find the daughter attractive, you need to leave both.
you clearly don't have strong enough feelings for the mother of this young lady and I doubt that the young lady views you as an object of affection...
and if she does, well then if she acts on it, she risks alienating her mother and losing that bond which I'm sure most daughters would not do.
I think you should do everyone a favor
end it with your girlfriend (you can tell her the truth you are just not that into her)
and do not have contact with the daughter.
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A
female
reader, Carry On Dick  +, writes (11 February 2013):
 I think you should just get out of this womans life and her daughters and leave them both alone.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2013): Yeuch!
I'm 26, and I like dating older women, but to me, their daughters are STRICTLY OFF-LIMITS if I'm dating an older woman with children (sorry for the capital letters).
18 is legal, but ethically, this is very, very dubious, so don't even go there... if you really want an 18-year-old girlfriend then find someone unconnected to her, families have a bond, and this would break it.
Only in very rare, and I mean very rare, circumstances is this acceptable, when both parties consent to such a thing, but even then I wouldn't advise it.
Don't go there, basically, is what I'm saying... not worth it (and no, I have no experience in this area, just giving my 2 cents worth of advice).
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 February 2013):
 I believe your submittal is a tribute to how men seem to "think" with some sort of brain-like organ that is connected to - or resides in - their penis......
Do you really think that either, or both of these women will want anything to do with you, once you expose your lacivious intentions to either or both of them?????
I kind of hope that your submittal is just a prank....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 February 2013):
 And are you into plastic by any chance, Benjamin ? That sounds like a bad remake of The Graduate.
Of course that was a movie , and from the 60's, so the audience wants a traditional happy ending, and feels it's OK for Dustin Hoffman to go after Katharine Ross, they are closer in age, and to hell with Ann Bancroft, she's just a horny old bitch anyway ..
Only, in real life it is all different , if they aren't regular guests on Jerry Springer BOTH women, mother and daughter , will not be OK with the idea, will find it ( and you ) totally disgusting, and will want nothing to do with you anymore.
I don't know what you mean by " a somewhat open " relationship, either it's open or it's not. I guess you mean she turns a blind eye as long as you are discreet, figuring this sort of comes with the territory of being a cougar... but I am sure the leeway stops totally when it's her own daughter. Ditto for the daughter, chances are she would find the idea of being hit on by her mom's lover pretty appalling.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2013): I hope this is a joke too.
Get out and get out now. You are not into any of this as a committed relationship and you are seriously crossing some serious boundaries even entertaining the thought of having an interest in the 18 year old daughter.
Break this off and go get some counseling to figure out what your issues are, because this sir, is a big issue.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (11 February 2013):
 I really hope this is a joke.
Of couse the mother is not going to be ok with you having a relationship with her daughter, that is simply disgusting! Imagine if your dad split up from your mother, meets a new woman and dates both her and her daughter - what would your opinion be of your father then?!
No mother is going to want to share her boyfriend with her daughter, the idea of a man being sexually active with both mother and daughter is just beyond disgusting.
I think you need to leave your girlfriend, you clearly dont love her enough to be faithful and cant control yourself when faced with temptation. And you shouldnt be looking at teenage girls either, I'm sure you were attracted to her before she came of 'age' and that is very wrong, I think you need some professional help as this attraction to teenagers could get you into a lot of trouble.
Stay away from both of them and get some help, what you are experiencing is not normal and is never going to be acceptable.
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