A
male
age
36-40,
*axdude
writes:Hey! I have a simple question to yall. I used to have a boyfriend a year ago. I loved him very much, but i guess we had problems. He broke up with me, and after a few weeks, started calling me to see how i was doing and etc. But when I called him back, he treated me cold and normally said he was busy. The last time we spoke was exactly that, he called me, and when I called back, he said we was busy. He hasnt called since. Its been 8 months, I have moved on, I tried to meet other guys, but NONE have really caught my attention. I really miss havin a boyfriend, and I just started to think about my ex again.Should I call him and try to work things out, or just be friends? Im REALLY scared that he's gonna treat me like sh*t again and im gonna suffer, but now that im alone for so long, i feel like its worth it takin the risk. Thanks for the opinions!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Delis +, writes (15 August 2009):
 Honey, I've been through this situation quite a lot of times and the best solution is to leet him come and speak to you again. Of couse that in my case it was not a partern from the same sex, but anyways, I'm pretty sure he only treats you as crap because you're the one calling back, ya know...everybody likes to be on top once, and your role is just not letting him be there!
cheep up, dude...drink some beer, eat something and WAIT. someday he'll call you back..and that would be the time to FEEDBACK.
A
male
reader, saxdude +, writes (7 July 2009):
saxdude is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for your thoughts. Im over him, but deep down i still have feelings for him, I used to love this person. So once in a while i have the urge to call him, even thought I know its just gonna make things worse and hes gonna step on me again! Thank you for opening my eyes :D
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (7 July 2009):
 nahh look you and your ex had your time together he didn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated and that'll always come back to you when you get together it'll be ok for a bit then it'll happen again and you'll be stuck in a rut square one again!
that's not what you want.
ok you're having a hard time finding someone who sticks out at you but that's probably because you're still feeling for the ex even though you know he treats you horribly you still have feelings.
until you've completely moved on then no-one will stand a chance i know you said you've moved on but somehwere in your mind i think you know that you haven't
don't give your ex the satisfaction of YOU calling him or coming back to him because he'll know he can get his way over and over and over again with you and you are right to just stand up for yourself and leave him behind you find a man who treats you and knows how to treat you the RIGHT way.
hope this helps
x ilovebowsandcherries x
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A
male
reader, rugmonkey  +, writes (7 July 2009):
Close the book on this chapter of your life. Once you no longer actively want to be his friend, you can be his friend. Until you reach that point, you'll just keep hurting each other. You have to let the breakup fully heal before you try and start a friendship.
A solid friendship can usually begin after you both are well into (or past) your next relationships with different partners.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): In a perfect world, you could probably remain friends...but this is not a perfect world, unfortunately.
We all have our own baggage that causes us to behave the way we do. You know this man...you know how he has reacted in the past.
Why set yourself up for more pain?
I know it is difficult when you really care about someone...but give it more time and continue your search for happiness!
Good Luck
Britt
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): In a perfect world, you could probably remain friends...but this is not a perfect world, unfortunately.
We all have our own baggage that causes us to behave the way we do. You know this man...you know how he has reacted in the past.
Why set yourself up for more pain?
I know it is difficult when you really care about someone...but give it more time and continue your search for happiness!
Good Luck
Britt
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