A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:There is a 13 year age gap between my husband and I and when we married first it was ok. We now have 2 young children 4 and 7 and he is 50 - I am 36. The age gap is more noticable now and he doesnt really get involved in the upbringing of the kids or the house or anything. He just constantly nags me for sex then goes in a mood if he doesnt get it. I resent this as he does bugger all to help me around. Also I dont fancy him anymore. It repulses me when he wants sex. I also feel sorry for him but I dont want any harm to come to him. I actually feel a little sorry for him. He is also very arrogant. It has been reported back to me a few times that he has shouted sweary words at people who are too slow at driving or blocking the way. I cant live with this anymore. All in all I am not a happy bunny buy I dont want anyone to get hurt. Some advice on how to deal with this would be great - thank you . Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2007): You do not love each other anymore or maybe he has a personal problem he just would not be able to tell you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2007): if you do not find your husband attractive then there really is nothing you can do. You cant force yourself to fancy someone. Do you feel like you would be broken hearted if you split? If so then try and work things out. If not then be honest with him so that he too can have a chance to move forward and find a partner that wants him for who he is.
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A
female
reader, Just a Girl... +, writes (10 May 2007):
 huni to be honest it sounds like your looking for somthing to pin it on. I may be alot younger but my bf is 9 years my senoir and i wenever we used to fight id pin it on the age gap instead of seeing that we needed to take responsibility as people.
i think that its sounds as if there is more of a difference in intrests and things you want than there is in age??
dnt knw if ive helped xxxx take care
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A
female
reader, Sunset0000 +, writes (5 May 2007):
I don't knoew if it's the age gap or not. I personally am in a relationship with a man 18 years older than me, but we have not got to the marriage stage and I am only 21. Sometimes though I do wonder about the future. Anyway, although it's important for all involved to try and make your marriage work it does sound a difficult situation. I think it's very wrong of him to demand sex all the time as you should be a lot more to him than just someone to have sex with. You do need to talk it through with him and tell him how you are feeling and I guess try and sort it out but at the end of the day you need to be happy and if he is causing you so much unhappiness and you really can't stand to be with him anymore, I think in that sort of situation maybe it is time to make changes. I know you have chldren and it's important to do whatever you can to keep the marriage for their sakes, but if you are very unhappy they will pick up on it and this won't help them.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (5 May 2007):
 It might be his age that's affecting you or it might be the fact that he just doesn't treat you well. It's great that you don't want anyone to get hurt and I'd advise you to stay with him, not for his sake but for your kids. Have you told him you're unhappy that he doesn't help you with the kids or around the house? Some men are just unaware of how much the women do because their mothers let them get away with not doing anything at home. It also sounds like you need to reconnect, spend some time together without the kids and out of the house having fun and getting to know each other again. You found him attractive once and I'm sure you can get back there with time and patience. Failing all of this, try to see a marriage counsellor. You owe it to yourself and your kids to do everything you can to make your marriage work.
CD
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