A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This Christmas I am so upset. I know it sound shallow but I got my boyfriend of 3 years a really nice skateboard (which was a very thoughtful and expensive gift) because he uses his really old beat up one everyday. The board I got him is amazing and he loves it. We are going snowboarding tomorrow so for Christmas he got me some snow gloves, a ski mask and some thermals because I don't have any snow gear. I also got him some thermals and a nice shirt along with the skateboard. It might sound bad but I feel like crying. I don't want to be a brat but usually he gets me Tiffany jewelry or other special things. I'm upset because I spent a lot of money and put a lot of thought into my gift and I know it's the thought that counts but I can't help being disappointed. He knows me too well and even though I haven't shown any disappointment he appologized for not being able to beat my gift. The thing is he never beats my gifts. I'm really good at giving gifts, especially to him, and I usually pick out the perfect presents for all occasions. For example, the skateboard is what he'll use to go to and from campus because he doen't have a car and a bike is too big. It's his dream board. I really put in a lot of effort and his gloves just aren't doing it for me. I only go to the snow once a year, if that. Of course it's the thought that counts and I know he's broke but he could have at least made me something thoughtful...what should I do?
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male
reader, engelengel20 +, writes (25 December 2009):
Mam,
He doesn't even have a car. What do you expect? People without a car are usually in the bottom 20% financially, so if money really matters to you then you shouldn't be with him or expect a ton.
From a different perspective, I agree with other writers that Christmas is about the time spent together with loved ones and not all about gift giving. If it really bothers you so much, scale down what you give him to be a little more equal so it is less awkward.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): Tell him to stop giving presents to you. Your too good at it, no matter how hard he tries you will always win. Your the best present giver, whatever he chooses will always disappoint. If he stops then there is no need for you ever to be disappointed again.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (26 December 2008):
 You know what? I'll bet hes really bummed out that he couldn't get you a super nice present and he went out and shopped for you, trying to find the nicest things that he thought you would love.
I think his gift was very thoughtful - maybe in a guy-like way, but still really thoughtful. My boyfriend this year couldn't get me anything extravagant and was just so upset that I had gotten him a few extra gifts and that he felt like he had fallen short. It absolutely broke my heart, because I loved the fact that he went out with me in mind and bought me the gifts he had. They were so awesome... and yes, perhaps maybe not what I would have picked out for myself, but who the hell cares? It's Christmas and I love spending it with my fella.
You also say that he has "NEVER topped your gifts", but has given you Tiffany jewelry in the past. I can only assume that these were nice gifts that also didn't reach your expectations. So I'm thinking that you're just not being clear with the guy what you want. He's not a mind reader! Give him lots of hints, really really clear ones. Remember that guys are not the sentimental masterminds that we lady-folk are. We ladies have always been good at buying gifts - I know I kickASS at getting personal gifts for people. Guys, not so much.
Give the guy a break. Love him for who he is, how he treats you and the fact that he wants to keep you nice and warm over your snowboarding trip. Next year, be clear, lighten up, and remember that Christmas isn't about what you get, it's about being together and giving each other goodies because you love each other.
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A
female
reader, Ashtarot  +, writes (26 December 2008):
 Christmas has become to commercial it's not funny. People are more worried about what they're going to get or got and not about the people they're spending the holiday with. There are other people out there who don't know the meaning of receiving gifts or people who don't have anyone to spend it with. Count your lucky stars that you got a present and that you had someone to spend it with and stop whinging.
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A
female
reader, XxAnGelXxx +, writes (26 December 2008):
 Consider yourself lucky, my boyfriend hadn't got me anything :s yet my ex did, how messed up is that? Lol..
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (26 December 2008):
 I cant relate to this as in all my 37 years I dont think a guy has ever bought me jewellery lol Oh actually, one guy bought me a pair of earrings years and years ago. Thats it though. I dont care what presents I get. And being single, I only got some off my mother. But I think as you get older things like that just aren't important. Here in the Uk there have been kids on tv with terminal illnesses, and we have a recession, I think most people here are happy if they can afford a few presents for their children, let alone for each other!
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): If this always happens, why do you always give him such nice gifts. Okay so he dosen't put much effort into gift giving or dosen't have a clue! then you don't have a clue and just give him cheap little things he gives you. Then your both be happy!
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A
female
reader, BlueCherry  +, writes (26 December 2008):
 Anonymous is right- don't be silly! Tiffany's didn't make act of presence this year but you got a good guy buying you something to keep you warm? hmm.. I think you should be greatful, maybe not happy, but on the very least, give the guy some credit.
Sorry if my comment isn't very uplifting, I could always start a fund raiser here in order to get you some Tiffany's ? brilliant idea, don't you think ?
Merry christmas though :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): No offense, but the fact that you feel like crying because you didn't like your presents is pretty pathetic. This is Christmas--it's better to give than to receive. You should be thankful that you have a loving boyfriend who tries his best, even if he's broke. You have to think about things from his point of view. If you're always giving him better and more expensive gifts, how does that make him feel? Inferior? Maybe it's time to give him a break and appreciate the gifts that he did give you. You guys are snowboarding together, and you needed the snow gear for the trip (and to be honest, some cute little jewelry from Tiffany is not going to keep you warm on your trip). There are so many things to be thankful for, and complaining that he's not thoughtful (how can you even say that when he got your snow gear for your snowboarding trip? It's not like he bought you something totally useless like an action figure or something!) is being bratty and selfish. Keep your priorities in mind, and don't end this year on a bad note over something this silly.
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