A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I Have been with my partner for Two years, and its been great and i have never loved someone so much in my life. we are now expecting our first child together im currently 7 months pregnant with a baby boy. we have also just moved in together and have a nice new flat, i thought everything was perfect. he has a good job, and i admit he treats me nice, a few weeks ago all he did was snap at me and make me cry, it even got to the point where we ended things, but he came back and for 2 weeks we have got on so great the best we ever have. thing is i found a text on his phone last week from a man, saying : if your girlfriend is asleep, come out just me and you for a drink but dont tell anyone. i know it could be innocent by why not tell anyone, i find it strange, its just a gut instinct. a few weeks ago he was really distant with me, wouldnt even touch me or have sex with me at all. but lately he has been back to normal and very loving, i dont understand why he keeps switching on me, turning on me for nothing, he even puts me down sometimes. i love him but i cant keep dealing with this it is stressing me out. and i dont understand why he has grown so close to this man at work (the one who sent that text to him) i feel suspicious but i dont say anything because it turns into a full blown argument, i try talking, that doesnt work. what more can i do? i feel powerless and deep down i think he has cheated or is cheating, but i give up with crying and trying. please tell me what will be best for me to do right now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have tried speaking to him about how he is making me feel, i asked him if he is cheating or has cheated, instead of talking to me he got angry, he says that i need help and that i should go to the doctors and sort my head out because im crazy. it hurt because thats what he thinks of me. although for the past week he has treated me alot better and is there for me a bit more, but i dont know how long it will last. also he has been alot more affectionate towards me and always trys it on with me. a few weeks ago he didnt even want to touch me but now its like he cant keep his hands off me which is nice but i know it will all change again. im not bothered too much about sex, just aslong as we still get passionate sometimes. although it still hasnt changed my mind about thinking of leaving him, its still an option if things turn like it was. im giving it one more chance, but this is the last one and i have told him that. but its still in the back of my mind that he has cheated or is, either with a male or female, who knows? when i ask him he just says he would never do that to me and dont know what he can do to prove he aint cheating, i still dont believe him sometimes.
A
female
reader, Faith'sSoul  +, writes (11 August 2010):
I am so sorry for your pain. I literally just found this site by searching for answers for my own issues. Then saw a question from 2 years ago from a girl that was the same position as yours. I have to say I totally relate to this too. If you have a gut feeling, That was a gift God gave to us to be able to protect ourselves. Cheating has been happening more frequently these days due to the increase in sex on t.v. and porn. I had those same gut feelings about my husband while I was pregnant with our daughter. Though he still denied it to this day. He does admit that he was masturbating and looking at porn frequently during that time. Then It came to my knowledge that he did cheat on me last year. Now that my girl is 3 we are dealing with separation and shared custody. So I can't tell you that he is cheating, but here are some things that may help you to reveal some truth. You deserve to know. As it is said "the truth will set you free"
It wouldn't be awful to take his phone and call that number to listen if it's a male or female. Just to give you more insight. I know it's hard to deal with emotionally while your pregnant. I pray for you to be strong, courageous, and remain safe and healthy for you and your baby.
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A
female
reader, Fefi  +, writes (11 August 2010):
 aw sweety it must be gutting, but maybe its just all the stress lately. i know what you're thinking, but try to be positive, you have a story in your mind that he may be cheating on you with this man, but you cant jump to conclusions. there is always an alternative rout, the text could have been a drunk text, maybe just an 'innocent' text as you said it.
it could have been a text for forgivness, maybe your man and his really close friend had fallen out and that could have distressed him into snapping at you and being distant.
please dont think negative, youre about to bring a baby into this world in 2 months and you need to be thinking about yourself and your baby for now. im sorry if it works out to end up the way you say it might but this is life and there is no way of stopping it.
please write back and tell us how it went ;)
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A
female
reader, kayjaydeex +, writes (11 August 2010):
this is such a hard question to answer but im afraid the only way to solve this is to ask him upfront about that text, and just make it clear that hes worrying you about his distance to you and him getting closer to this man, honesty is the best policy x
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A
female
reader, Lotsalove. +, writes (10 August 2010):
 The first thing that screamed at me was 'That is not a man'. Have you ever met this 'man from work?'. Alot of guys (and girls) will put their secret lover under a name of the same sex, so if the name popped up on their phone, their bf/gf wouldnt suspect a thing. For example - Mary is having an affair with Bob, but in her phone he's under 'Beth'. Beth could be a random name, or it could be the name of a friend so it doesnt look suspicious. I know people do this, I was once 'Neil' under a guys phone because of his girlfriend.
You being pregnant should mean that your boyfriend is tending to your every need and want, afterall you are carrying his child. Why is he snapping at you and making you cry? If anything, you should be the snappy one. Why is he leaving you when your 7 months pregnant?
It sounds very fishy to me, The fact that the text says 'If your girlfriend is asleep and don't tell anyone' is a BIG red flag. Aswell as staying clear of you, not wanting sex or touching you. I suggest you take this out with your boyfriend immediately or walk away. I know your expecting his child, but can you stay with him if you feel hes cheating on you? If he's willing to come clean and make ammends, then even better. But he mustnt mess you around, especially when you two are near to being new parents.
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