A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Last few months my best friend's husband and I have been sleeping together, last night he tells me he loves her and wants to break it off with me, I got mad and told him I don't want to end our relationship. What do I do? how do I keep him from leaving?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2012): I fell upon this. I just recently found out that my best friend of 9 years came on to my husband and they had an affair. I pulled out the truth from both of them. She kept lying but he was truthful. Friends don't do this. You were never her friend if you could do this. Lady run and let this lady heal. My x best friend is filled with anger towards me becaue I found out and now she is full of hate. She never wanted her husband to find out and my guess is she really fell for my husband. Now that her husband knows it's fully over but I need to heal and she keeps sending e-mails from different accts. they are evil and she is a sick lady. I am feeling she feels she lost her best friend and her lover but to bad for her. I don't know i can stay with my husband but he is trying but the trust is so broken. Ladies like you nees something else in their life like maybe serving others than serving thy self with your best friends husband. Just run and leave them alone. It's best for everyone and he still wants to be with his wife because most likely he is realizing how wrong he really was.
A
male
reader, livingdead +, writes (10 November 2012):
I recently found out my wife has been sleeping with my best friend for 3 yrs. She told me he ended it with her so now she wants to work our relationship out. I love her so much but now Iam left with an enemy who was once a close little brother to me and a wife that had to chose me. Forget about him if he cheated on his wife he'll cheat on u too.
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A
male
reader, Beautifulboy +, writes (10 November 2012):
wow, you really do believe no guy in this world would want to be with you huh?? judging by the fact you throw yourself an wishbone your leggs for any guy who acts like he cares or wants you. wow girl, your a mess. hmmm i want you to think about something ok?? why do you think your not in a relationship with a guy who loves you?? hmmmmmmmmmm ummmmm maybe because your a hoe who has serious self esteem issues.. no guy will ever want a bad person which you are. your a BAD PERSON. you minus well be a pornstar because that 30mins of sex with a stranger will be the deepest level of relationships you will EVER have in the future.. you will live your life alone as karma comes to find you. any future bf will cheat an eventualy all your friends/associates will realize your a bad person and everybody will leave you an guys will use your 4ever.. im sorry but i have seen this happen. bad people ONLY get what they deserve which is not happiness!!!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (8 November 2012):
 You have a choice to handle this in one of two ways:
1. Throw yourself at him more,.... do whatever it takes to make this whole situation as messy as possible... I.E: Contact the wife and reveal her hubby's tryst with you...
2. Take the high road.... and quietly evaporate from this guy's life.... keep your mouth shut... and chalk this up to an emotionally-painful lesson that you will VOW not to repeat...
I hope you choose No 2.....
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (8 November 2012):
 First of all he is your best friends husband, he belongs to your best friend. You are stealing, taking from your best friend. Your friendship with your best friend i am sure is at a bad place: hiding,deceiving,lying,cheating....ect. ect...You have had sex with her husband and an emotional bond has been created with you. You want what is not yours, he had fun with you, and never intended to leave his wife. Yes he cheated on his wife, he had fun with you but never intended to commit to you. She must not be much of a best friend for you to be willing to f*** her husband, and cheat, and take what is not yours. When you cheated with him you must not have given any thought, or cared less what you were doing to your best friend. Sounds self centered.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 November 2012):
 I'm a firm believer in duct tape. I use it all the time for all sorts of minor nuisances. Hopefully your bed has both a headboard AND a footboard. That will make the taping more secure. Get good quality duct tape and I guarantee, he won't be going anywhere.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (8 November 2012):
 Hi
Well for a start he can't leave you because he isn't with you, he might have left your bed for good by the sounds of it though.
His wife must have guessed he's cheating and given him an ultimatum, so he chose her because he loves her. You provided illicit sex that's all.If she knows about you then expect a visit.
Learn from this and strive to be not just a better friend in future but a woman who only dates SINGLE men.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): Good for him. Hopefully they can patch things up, although trust will be gone. You sure are a pos friend. Hes a lousy hubby for cheating on her. Cut ties with them both and get your own relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): find your own man, stop being a home wrecker
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (8 November 2012):
 Join the queue of the multi million other women who are waiting around for someone else's husband to leave their wife...then dive headlong into the pool of a billion other women who have discovered that married men who cheat NEVER leave their wives.
Oldest trick on the planet my dear...he's f**ked and dumped you...
Live with it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): He is using you as a home.If you don't want him to use you as a hole end the affair right now. Confess to your ex best friend(how do you call yourself a best friend?) what you did. Try to get it right.As of now,you are in a right royal mess.Your past is not in your hands.your future is.you can become a woman of honor in the future.Do not pass up this chance.
Female Anon
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): Wow that's so sad.
ur not her best friend!!!
Just go find sex with a single man, no need to help break up a home/marriage for sex?! Hopefully this won't happen to you if you or become married.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): You can try and change his mind, but i doubt it will work. He has a wife that he loves and cares for, he doesn't need you trying to ruin his relationship, no offense.If she's your best friend then back off, no one deserves their own "best friend" to try and take their husband for sex. Everyone could get hurt if your friend figures out. What happens if she does find out? Then she'll end up hating you and everyone starts to dislike each other, ya u may get back with the guy, but deep down you'll soon realize that he is just using you. You are both just using each other in this relationship so leave him alone when he wants to break it off. If he leaves his wife over sexual intercourse with you then that is so wrong on so many levels. First off, why would you want a real relationship with him anyway? He is obviously using you.
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A
female
reader, demeplev +, writes (8 November 2012):
 How can you call yourself a best friend?
more like the enemy.
Don't hurt her or yourself anymore...get an available man
don't let the cat out of the bag or if you do, move on and forget your so called friend..you will destroy her trust in "friends"
I hope this question isnt a real one because you made me so sad for your friend. :(
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A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (8 November 2012):
Short answer is, unfortunately for you, you can't. Basically, if he has given things a go with you and decided he loves his wife and wants to stay with her, there isn't much you can do really. You can try to change his mind, but that's not very likely in my opinion.
The other question is, why would you want to change his mind? This guy is just offering you sex at the moment, you are just using one another, and he doesn't take you seriously enough to leave his wife. Ideally, in general, people prefer to have committed relationships which can lead to deep emotional connections based on trust, love, mutual respect, and creating and sharing a life together, much deeper than just a sexual relationship. If he can't offer you that, you are settling for less than you should, in my opinion.
What would happen if he ended things with his wife to be with you? Well, from an emotional point of view, this guy's pattern of behaving based on being married and then sleeping with you, is to get into a secure relationship and then cheat with someone else. This kind of pattern is not uncommon with married men who have sex outside of the relationship, but the bad news for you is that in the vast majority of cases it doesn't change. For that reason, even though you might have a great connection, and even love him, it makes him an exceedingly bad choice of partner for a real relationship.
If you're not interested in a real relationship, just sex, unfortunately you don't have anything to offer him that he can't get from his wife, or elsewhere.
Also, it is worth mentioning that having sex with a married man whose wife is a friend runs the risk of creating a great deal of hurt to all parties concerned, but more importantly for you, can have a really bad effect on your own self esteem and sense of value and self respect. This kind of behaviour can be damaging, so whilst I don't mean to pass any kind of judgement on your behaviour, I do mean to look after your well being when I say you should seriously rethink some of the choices you are making in your life. You are worth more than what you are getting, and what you are giving out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): You need to let this guy go or you're going to lose him *and* your best friend. He's trying to do the right thing. You should let him. If all you want is the sex, I'm sure you can find it elsewhere. If you want to steal this guy from your girlfriend, I think you're all 3 going to be unhappy in the end.
Maybe you should ask him about 3-way with his wife. You never know, they might be interested (proceed with caution).
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): "What do I do? how do I keep him from leaving?"
Divorce your husband (if applicable), wait for your best friend's husband's divorce to become final, marry your ex-best friend's ex-husband, and then threaten to take him to the cleaners if he ever leaves you in the unlikely event that his ex-wife and your ex-best friend hasn't already previously taken him to the cleaners herself.
In other words, nothing you can do. Married men cheating on their wives do not "end their relationships" with their mistresses, they "get caught having illicit backstreet
extra-marital affairs" by their wives, and said illicit backstreet extra-marital affairs usually do not continue beyond that instant.
He can't leave you, he can only leave his wife, which is what he has chosen NOT to do, probably as the least objectionable alternative that she has presented to him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): ... you do realize that's an incredibly awful thing to do, right??? that's your best friend!! what you do is you realize you're a terrible friend, take this as an opportunity to start doing the right thing, and leave him alone! you'll be lucky if he doesn't tell his wife and have her beat the crap out of you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): She obviously isn't your best friend. Have you thought about her at all? Why do you want someone who is married & supposedly in love with someone else?
There really isn't anything you can do, you can't make him pick you over her.
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