A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay well Im 21 and I've never had a boyfriend so i was talking to my friends saying that i want to start dating :)I've had sex before but only with 1 guy and that was a little over a year ago. But my question is do my friends want me happy? Because after i said i wanted to start dating they always say i shouldnt or i should just focus on something or else? Guys aren't all i think about obviously and sex? I would like to have sex again but with a guy that really likes me and who just don't want a 1 night stand :) Im just asking because they have boyfriends and i be happy for them and listening to them when they need me but as soon as i say i want to start dating all i hear is you should focus on school or just wait or don't worry about guys!? I guess I've had sex with 20 guys and fall in love after a guy says hi to me :-\ but here's the weird part when they get dump and start lookin for someone that next day and if i say maybe you should focus on school ect they say there are but they don't wanna be alone or their lonely or they want love? Umm hello that makes no darn sense ? Do they want me alone for ever while they be happy and in a relationship? When i ask that they say nooo maybe you should start dating your going to be 22 soon but we just know what's best for you? I already have bad luck with guys obviously!?! I only attract guys who want sex! Its crazy sorry if i confused you aunts, thank you for reading !!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey aunts! Thanks to the other who answered my question! But i don't put that much into finding a boyfriend, i just get so curious about when or if Im ever going to get a guy that i like. Like in high school i was fine with being single but since Im going on 22 and I've never had a boyfriend its does makes me think?!? But i don't mention guys/boyfriends 24/7 ... Now i do mention it when my mom or dad ask me why Im always single ? That makes me think.. And i know my friends can't be happy unless they have bfs but if i mention that i want to wait and or be patient they say i should? Lol its confusing... but if i say that to them its i don't want be lonely/miserable ... i know its confusing.. But Im a happy girl. Im in school i work, Im fun and i pretty :p but thank you all for answering my question. You aunts gave me a little more hope.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 November 2012):
 Ahh thanks for clearing that up :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for answering my question but I've only had sex with 1 guy a year ago. I was saying my friends act like I've had sex with 20 guys and that i fall in love asap, i was being sarcastic!! But because i do only attract guys who want sex that's why I've only had sex with 1 guy :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 November 2012):
Well I think it's because they know you don't exactly have a great track record when it comes to boys. Specially if you are looking for a BF yet you sleep with any guy who smiles at you the first night you meet. THAT is not a good way to find a BF, that is a good way to ruin your reputation and have one night stands.
I don't think they want you to be single forever, but maybe they think you need to slow down and chill a little leave the boys be for a while..
You said it yourself you "attract" guys who only want sex. So maybe you need to just figure out how to find a quality guy, because obviously you keep doing the same thing and expect a different result.. doesn't work that way.
I think they just want you happy. I'm guessing being used for sex on a one night stand doesn't make you happy ?
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A
female
reader, mooh  +, writes (8 November 2012):
maybe your friends are saying that you shouldn't spend too much energy (overthinking/obssessing) in dating as the boyfriend will probably come naturally.
Of course, you need to do what is best for yourself and what will make you happy. Your friends can offer their advice, point of view but in the end the only thing that matters is yourself!
Yes, if they can never be without a guy in their life it can be that they have affective dependencies which is not very healthy as their happiness highly depends on having a guy in their life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for answering my question aunts!
I don't really to much care about what they think i was just thinking since i be happy for them, why does it seems like they wont be happy for me? But i agree with you Garcia :) & Im happy but sometimes i wouldnt mind having a boyfriend once in my life.
Anonymous Female
thank you for answering my question but hun i only had sex with 1 guy and that was last year... I would never have sex with 20 guys no offence to anyone who has :) & i don't go on dates, guys only want sex from me, Im attracting the wrong guys now. But thank you !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): Maybe your friends get tired of your fixation on the opposite sex instead of on things that WILL make you happy like having hobbies and a life outside of dating. If you've slept with 20 guys already at your age, it could mean you have a real problem and you are sabotaging yourself.
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