A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay-This doesn't have much to do with relationships like love or anything... I just need helpEver since people found out that I was a lesbian I've felt completely left out of everything surrounding me. I feel so alone and hated. My best friend and I dont even talk much anymore. Also during 1st period class a couple of people around me calling me a fag. and some other harsh words. I reallly do try to ignore them, but they just keep bothering me and I can't do anything about it. I'v already talked to my parents about it..they aren't even attempting to say anything they completely ignored me. I've also told my teacher and she just tells them to leave me alone and they lie and say they aren't doing anything. I really miss before I told anyone I was gay. I miss my friends. Everyone thinks its funny to make fun of me but it makes me hate life. I can't enjoy it at all and I want to. I wanna feel like other people who have lots of friends and people look up to them, the ones who have a bestfriend that actually 'cares' about them. I'm now starting to take the wrong path, the path i thought would make me feel better about life but its just gonna make me end up even more alone. I can't take it anymore.. im sick of school and my parents everyone around me! i'm tired of pretending to be okay even tho i wanna tell someone how i really feel about my life..somone who will actually listen for once. What can I do..I'm starting to ive up on my life and I'm so confused.. =[(sorry this was so long)
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best friend, lesbian, my teacher, period Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ask The Leprechaun  +, writes (10 September 2008):
 Coming out is a brave, mature decision, so good for you. It takes a lot of guts to do that. by the way you describe your life and the people around you, that's the reason I don't tell people I'm bisexual. I'm a coward, and I've seen this problem happen to all the out lesbian/bisexual people I know. But now that you've come out people will see you differently, you have to try to understand what's going through their minds......
The truth is deep down they are possibly scared of you, of this revelation, stupid, but true. the simple arrogance of human nature: "gay people fancy me".....turns into homophobia, which then turns into "not only do they fancy me, they fancy ALL girls".....paranoia mixed with vanity.
What you have to do is convince them that you don't fancy ALL girls, or your friends, tell them what kind of girl is your type if you want. Prove to them that you are no different to how you were before you came out, if they can't understand that then maybe you shouldn't bother, maybe you should find some non-homophobic friends.
It really makes me angry to see people acting like this, but you have to remember, these people will not be in your life forever, soon you'll move on into a whole new social environment and people will hopefully be more mature and less homophobic.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2008): You are way too young to label yourself gay or not.
At your age you don't actually have much of an idea. If you still feel the same at 25... then you can consider yourself gay.
Either way, I wouldn't even be bothering with a relationship with anyone at your age, you have plenty of time for that later.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2008): I don't believe in coming out at school, for the simple fact that people are very immature at school. I got to admire your guts but now you got to stand it out. One day this behaviour won't be accepted just like it's not to take fun of a black person becaus eof their colour.
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A
female
reader, AnthraXia  +, writes (9 September 2008):
Hey, It gets better, I promis!!! I was terrified when I first came out, and for a while, a few people who I was really close to cut me off. I don`t really have much for advice, sorry, it all just kind of fit in to place for me, but just hang in there, okay?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2008): hey-Dont feel bad for being who you are. feel bad for the people who are so narrow minded that they cant accept people for who they are.this mean behaviour will die down soon- stick to being you and dont let them bring you down. ask your best friend if youre both kool with each other. the people who will matter will stick by you- this is a test of friendships.just remember-oustide of school-in this big wide world- there will be times when you face people who are racisit, prejudist and narrow minded- but theres millions out there who are accepting and loving.stay strong!!!!!!! and be proud!!! i bet half your class mates are not as brave as you! :)love and god bless...friend xx
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A
female
reader, Charleybabes0811 +, writes (9 September 2008):
First of all let me say Well Done!Takes alot of guts to come out!Next, don't worry! All friends that are worth it will come back to you, and if not you will make more. Be confident, don't let them know how much it hurts, cause the will just carry on.My friend came out last year as a bisexual. It was the top gossip for maybe a month... then people got bored and talked about the next thing.It will blow over.I promise.Well done againI hope this helps.x
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A
male
reader, The Listener +, writes (9 September 2008):
 Hmmm. It seems to me that the friends issue just has to do with age. Kids around your age like to make fun of it because they are still immature and they probably do not know how they are sexually orientated themselves yet. Judging by your age, you have discovered pretty young that you are a lesbian; most girls would not decide officially until later on in life, so it just seems you have jump-started, which there is nothing wrong with.As for the parent and teacher issue, i am not sure how sensitive it is. You should try talking more to your parents, force them to address the issue. They may just not take you seriously because of your age so try discussing it with them and make sure you show them you mean buisness.The only other advice i can give is don't give up on life! You are still young and as you get older you will realise that it is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of and it won't ruin your life. You are more mature than your peers and you should be comforted by this. It won't be long before some of them realise that they have the same orientation as you.Good luck with everything and feel free to ask anything else of us. We're all here to help afterall.
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