A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 20 yrs old... ive been married for almost 6months.. i know, young.but anyway. My now husband n i started havin sex about 5 months into the relatinship. he was my first everythin. I had only kissed 2 othr guys and never did ANYTHING else wit them. He said that he had sex with his past two gf's but only once or twice with each, so both of us were quite inexperienced. So idk y but i just cant orgasm. Like he does oral, finger, and penetration, n its useless. im pretty shy wit sex because ive always been taught by family that its "forbidden" my mom recently even called it a "good/forgivable sin". my parents r still together but i doubt they have sex. ive never even seen them kiss. yeahh...anywayz, i have masturbated alone wit a personal vibrator.. and have even tried toothbrush {battery kind}. its kinda scary to me even tho i think i mite have orgasmed.. im not sure but it did feel different. i can do this for hours, seriously.. is this normal?and what can i do wit my new husband? we r both new at this i guess. and im pretty shy about sex and not very confident in my body when naked.and when we have he performs oral its like i can barely feel anything. i feel his tounge but its not pleasure. its just awakrd for me since i kno most women love it but i dont feel it. i also think my vagina is overweight or somethng hahahacuz maybe hes not gettin to my clitorous?? idk.also, it kinda hurts when i put the vibrations on it. it has to be like on the lip sorta. and when he uses his finger it hurts, tho it feels good sometimes. but dont feel his tounge?we tried watchin porn n it was just awkward lol.but i do like to watch it alone. why is this? i know im supposed to kno my body but im like scared. it kinda grosses me out to look at myself down there and turns me off. im afraid of stiking my fingers inside.. idk wat to do!!!is somethin wrong wit me? i want to have sex but its just never leads to orgasm n even tho i do like it, i wish i could feel how he feels afterwards.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, megan1111 +, writes (17 January 2009):
Dear, you must learn to masturbate. After you learn to have orgasms, you can teach your husband how to please you. Make sure you teach him how to use his tongue (make as well break him in right) then you simply guide his penis into you and tell him how you like it until he reaches his orgasm.
This is the short and quick version.
A
female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (17 January 2009):
 I think it's going to be hard for you to achieve an orgasm while you're so concerned about it. Even when I'm entirely in the mood, and masturbating (and thus know exactly what it takes for me to orgasm) when my mind starts to wander it becomes difficult.
I think you should definitely have a few sessions alone. If you like porn then start off with that to get yourself in the mood and then work from there. If you've got toys I'd try them out too.
Start out with a light touch - especially if you say it kind of hurts when you put the vibrations on (try a lower setting? Or get another toy with multiple options - the rabbit is my personal recommendation, use only the vibrating part to start with).
Vary the placement of toy until you hit a spot that works for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhah, jeez im not jealous.. i just want to freakin orgasm! lol plus, it makes him feel bad that i dont!
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