A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello guys.. I need some advice lately my GF is being distant from me.. I mean the other day her car was fucked up she has to pay a ton of money and all.. I mean i try and help her (i don't like giving up or giving in must be my pride) So anyway all of a sudden she goes all idc mood on me.. I mean she even said she didn't need my help that i'm always too busy..anyway one time i fell asleep at 8 am and woke up at 7 pm she was soo pissed and upset with me.. anyway we argue then we make up and the day after.. Well now she's doubting and thinking alot.. I tell her that she's not doing fine she denies it all... Ok till i told her how i really felt and that i'm hurt cuz of the fact she won't admit to me that she's not completely fine and my gut tells me it.. anyway we talk about it today till she tells me why.. she says we barely talk and that i'm always busy and that she's wasting my time... I tell her she's not and i tell her how can my very own GF waste my own time..We known each other as friends for two years and started going out for like about 5 monthes.. We tell each other how much we love each other and stuff but now... I told her to move on from the whole that "she's wasting my time theory" ok till she agrees but still my gut reacts to how she's being distant.. I still feel her distant..Is it maybe cuz it's been one day after we had that argument? Idk i mean yesterday we talked but with soo much depression and soo distant.. now today even though we "made up" she still acts the same idk what to do any more... i need advice plz and sorry i made this story soooo long.. anyway plz and thnx
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh and about the pressuring her to answer well it's cuz she takes a long time to tell how she really feels.. I mean I remember this one time she went nearly a month without telling me how she felt and with my sense of pride... Well I wanted to ask her how she felt but i thought giving her a break might make her come out of her shell... well 3 weeks after still nothing.. I tell her sometimes if she needs anything any help from me she can come to me I am here for her .. All she says is "sure ok..." (but I know it's her being sarcastic) Sometimes when i choose not to be pressured at how she feels she sighs sleeps earlier and sort.. And believe me i'm not the confessive type yet she brings out the gentle side.. She says i'm a toughguy very prideful and very very stubborn yet caring loving and there for her when she needs me.. and that I hug her when she doesn't have the guts to ask me for one..That i can tell when she's down the minute she gets into a negative mood.. I tell her she's stubborn gets easily pissed very backboney.. And yet we still love each other cuz of how we are and that me and her are so much alike just that i tend to be not too confessive.. and believe me she's not too confessive either.. I guess she's the type who doesn't like to ask instead she likes to be given although she doesn't like admitting it hehe
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYea i will do just that :) thnx guys even though today she said the same thing again lol i told her "Yes i know i been busy lately.. But that doesn't make my life any better than anyone elses"
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): It seems to me your GF is feeling udervalued and underloved. Yes you tell her you love her and all is fine with your relationship, you reassure constantly but actions speak loader than words. Try and relax a bit more around her don't pressurize her by demanding to know why she is distant. Little expressions of love can be shown by you being a bit more attentive to her needs. Tell her you are there for her, show her you care. A small gesture of affection such as a some flowers when she least expects them and not just on special occassions like valentines day will make her feel you are thinking about her. Most women love the surprise element of things. Book a romantic meal out together but don't tell her surprise her. Finally make time for each other plan a cosy evening in together relaxing and concentrating on each other. If you are more relaxed about the situation instead of confronting her directly she will feeel less under stain too. you don't say your ages but you both sound fairly new to the relationship game. She may expect nore from you than you are giving. I can understand why she was upset when you fell asleep all day!! Show you care and trat her with dignity and respect. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): dude,its nice to hear how considerate uve been, that uve actually tried to get her out of the idea that she's wasting ur time. but maybe all she really needs is a re-awakening of romance. and by romance i dont mean posh restaurants and fancy clothes. maybe u shud just take some time off to go somewhere totally unexpected. surprise her. go to some far-away, distant place for the weekend. try to stay out of crowds and have some alone time. listen to her grievances; everyone has some. let her hear bout what ur going thru. all a girl really wants is to feel special, especially when she's around the guy she loves.
so give it a shot. i hope this advice turns out to be useful. take care.
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