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female
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*ngelicc
writes:It's been forever since i've been on this site, it helped me alot when I was 18 so hopely it can help me again now i'm 21.Basically in the last 4 years i changed dramatic as a person, i've had my heart broken twice. And my standards in men as dropped as a result. I still like sexy as anything, but i seem to attract guys who attached. And just don't seem to care, i've giving up on love all together, i don't really do relationships. I don't sleep around the last guy i slept with was over a year ago. But that doesnt stop me from flirtly with ever bloke that catches my eye, and kissing a few dozen.I feel like a right slut but i don't know how to get myself together.I'm scared that this all i ever be.How do i stop?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): Girl, I've been through that and now how it felt. I got into my first relationship late compared to most of my friends - summer before grade 12. My best friend always got every guy I liked so I was excited to finally have a boyfriend. So excited in fact that I didn't realize what a jerk he really was, and he used this knowledge to fully shape me into whatever he wanted. He pressured me into sex when I was far from ready, and towards the end of a failed 6 month relationship told me things like "that book we talked about was right, I'm only with you till i find someone better" and "i have more desire to date every girl in the hallways more than I want to date you". Not the best words to hear from the first relationship, but it shaped what I thought of guys. Next boyfriend was a player but we thankfully didn't last long. After that though, it seemed that every guy I met, even just a friend only ever had one thing on their mind. So for half a year I decided that if that's all guys ever want from girls I might as well give up trying to find a normal relationship and give them what they want.Needless to say, a few encounters later I felt dirty and gross, and gained nothing from it, except more of a hatred for men. And when I gave up completely is when I found my current boyfriend, one that might not be the most innocent man in the world, but who has helped me overcome most fears, gain back my self-confidence and completely turned my life around. So what I'm saying is, been there, and it's not pretty. Just know that flirting and making out on their own won't make you slutty, but it can help you find a wonderful, caring, loving man. Best of luck xx
A
male
reader, JayLovesSam +, writes (3 August 2010):
 You are not a slut, you just seemed to be with someone because your scared you will get hurt again, stay as you are, have fun, when you meet the right person, you WILL know,
Good luck sweety dont give up hope, your a nice person :)
Kind regards
The friday night delight
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A
female
reader, Angelicc +, writes (3 August 2010):
Angelicc is verified as being by the original poster of the question With the amount i've kissed my prince charming should be right around the corner. lol
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (3 August 2010):
 You haven't slept anybody for over a year... you aren't a slut at all... you may be guarded, but you're smart. You're meeting many guys and learning what you do and don't want in a relationship without actually sleeping with them... as a nightclub worker, trust me when I say that you are no slut. Sometimes you gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince.
Best of luck :)
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A
female
reader, Angelicc +, writes (3 August 2010):
Angelicc is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all from your advice, I was just kissing a stranger i met once yesterday and thought what the hell have i become. The only word i could think of was slut. In my job flirting is something goes along with job but maybe i've taken it a step too far.
I think your right in that i need take a step and focus on myself. But believing in love is something i don't think i could put my trust in.
oh and to the lady who said i should seek counseling, maybe you rely a little too much on outside help. I'm perfectly sane just my heart a little batted and bruise from trusting a few too many men. No need for me to pay someone £200 an hour to tell me that. all I just wanted a little advice and views.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): When I was younger, whenever I'd get upset or broken-hearted over a boy I really loved, I'd go off and cry, then smear on red lipstick and heals and flirt and fuck and kiss and be quite the whore to all the boys around. It made me feel--hmm, loved?--or maybe just noticed. They did not love me. I didn't mean a thing to any of those guys. But I needed affection. I needed to get my mind off of what really mattered to me.
You must be sort of the same. I needed attention. I needed to know I was still special. And in a way, all this was a way to get back at the boy who'd broken my heart.
Finding out that I'd been off fucking up all that time, the boy that had broken my heart, had confronted me. He was so sweet, so nice about it. He hugged me and I sobbed and sobbed and told him how much I needed him. He completely understood and wasn't even all that mad. He was there for me. I was a wreck.
Find someone who really cares about you. Then, this'll stop. It won't last forever.
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1  +, writes (3 August 2010):
There are professionals! who can answer that for you and get you some help! you are mixed up? do you have some deep rooted problems? you say you haven't had sex in a yr but you kiss dozen of men, are you a tease? get some counseling.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): Well I'm still a teen so my advice might not be so great but here goes. Well I'm guessing that your "giving up on love"! Well when I got out of a serious(?) relationship I would do exactly what your doing (kissing flirting googley eyes... Ect) I guess it helps me keep my mind off of who I really love ( the one I can't be with ever again ) so now we have to figure out how to stop ( that is if your and my predictements are the same). When you catch yourself flirting or kissing just remind yourself of the road that MIGHT be in store for you later on in your life. I'm scared myself that I won't go anywhere in life. I have no savings for colledge and no plans for after high school. I have considered joining the mabey when I'm 18 or 19 but still unsure. I think if your not sleeping around then your not a slut but a player(??) if that even makes sense! Well I wish you the best of luck in life and keep in mind who you really are inside!
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female
reader, loopylynch +, writes (3 August 2010):
 Hi, im no expert and dont believe in 'theres a person out there for everyone' i split from my boyfriend 3 1/2 years ago and had never slept with neone but him, so when i was single i slept about :( i thought it was 'fun' and 'felt in control' but all i was doing is dis-respecting myself, i have no solution for u to stop... but maybe take a step bk and look at wot u have become... try not to go out as much so ur not tempted by the urge to sleep or flirt with others... go away on ur own for a week or 2 and just find urself... its like working in a sweet shop and not being tempted to pick.... if u go away, no pubs, clubs or friends to direct u down the wrong path u could maybe find a way of meeting new ppl with out having to take it futher, learn to get to no them.... i hope u begin to find wot ur looking for... xx
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A
male
reader, michaelch +, writes (3 August 2010):
 Your not slutty. There is nothing wrong with flirting, after all you do have to meet your Significant Other some how. My advice would be to just relax, and when you do go out, just talk and see where things go. It's going to take a few boys before you find the one your looking for. But you aren't a slut...
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