A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So theres this guy at work, and we have flirted a lot but i always saw it as a bit of fun as ... he is a maried man. but today he confessed he would cheat on his wife with me, but i dont know. im so attracted to him and its so tempting but ive always been sensible.but im getting weaker and i have always said no as i dont want to ruin his relationship!i know he doesnt get on well with his wife, but temptation is getting to me, and i dont know what to do, if he was single, i would of by now, but hes not and its always in the back of my mind...
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for you're responses
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011): In addition to my previous post....@ male reader anonymous, it is funny how the actual no 1 cheat(husband) is not considered a tramp, it always the one who is not in direct violation.....Quite hypocrital isnt it??.....Be objective please....Not taking away from what is being said just amazing logic that cant get my head around...@ poster remember not to ever let your guard down and whatever temptation you are feeling WILL pass in time..Be strong
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011): In addition to my previouds post....@ male reader anonymous, it is funny how the actual no 1 cheat(husband) is not considered a tramp, it always the one who is not in direct violation.....Quite hypocrital isnt it??.....Be objective please....Not taking away from what is being said just amazing logic that cant get my head around...@ poster remember not to ever let your guard down and whatever temptation you are feeling WILL pass in time..Be strong
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011): Since this has not been sprung on you ie you havent been caught in the moment and you are very aware of what is brewing, I suggest you give him the old heave ho.....I know you would think you dont want to be nasty to him cos he is a 'friend' but you have to be firm otherwise he will 'get you' at a vulnerable time....You are feeling weak but this is a highway to nowhere and people could get hurt...It is not your problem to 'sort him out' if he doesnt get along with his wife, he should not try to put that burden on you...He should be a man to sort out his relationship either way, cheating aint gonna make him get along better with her...There is probably something happening or not happening in your life that is making you vulnerable to this attraction...Dont get me wrong, you can find anyone attractive but you dont always have to do something about it, sometimes these feeling fade away naturally with no incident....Maybe it been a while since you been in a relationship even if you are not looking for one...You need to first be objective about your vulnerabilty(have you been feeling lonely lately, missing sex,not having friends to talk to like you used to.. etc) and strengthen yourself, cos morals or not women who have thought themselves to be of very high standards/morals have been lured before, much to their surprise and they end with a lot of regret....He is capitalising on your weakness and vulnerability....You are lucky that he actually did give you a heads up that he would 'cheat' on his wife and that basically says he wishes to stay married ...These type of men can waste years of a good womans life if you are not strong enough to not get involved or leave early if you unfortunately get tangled....Never ever let your guard down with this guy...He will sneak up on you and snake his way into your life at your most vulnerable.....No matter how good a friend you think he is , no matter how caring, intelligient, sensitive etc, NEVER EVER EVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN....These feeling that you have now will pass, yopu just have to be strong and objective about what is in front of you...It may not be easy and the feeling may linger but you can overcome it....I would advice that you not get too close to him as you are quite vulnerable...Avoid or minimise contact with him so you can get yourself together and be strong
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A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (31 March 2011):
The other answerers have given you sound advice so far. My only addition are a couple of questions:
What do you want from him? Is it just the sex your after or have you started to develop feelings for him that go deeper than that?
If the second is the case, give this guy a wide berth for the fact alone that he will only hurt you.
If the first is the case, you need to consider whether your own moral code allows you to go after what you want at the expense of someone else: his unknowing wife. Because whatever her faults, she does not deserve to be cheated on.
These are the choices your faced with. Consider them well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): Honey he just wants more meat and perhaps he sees you naïve enough to start this affair.
Don't think he will leave his wife for u. He will enjoy what u have to offer, string u along and basically zap your life until too late.
If every man who doesn't get along with their wives were like this married man....
LoveGirl
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): Don't degrade yourself to being his cheap playmate because that's all you'll be. That mans married and loves his wife and not gonna leave her for you. He's still with her right? Besides that you'll be seen as a dirty easy tramp once you have an affair. Have some dignity and self respect and carry yourself like a lady. No bodys wants to introduce a tramp to anybody important in their life. Forget about him. He thinks you're easy. Prove him wrong. Be a lady not a dirty homewrecking tramp.
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A
female
reader, bernergirl +, writes (31 March 2011):
 Please don't do it. As a woman who had this done to me, it tore me apart...I literally almost lost everything. And to be quite honest you don't know what he is telling his wife, he could be telling you they don't get along and telling his wife he adore's her. I know temptation is difficult, but that's why its called temptation...to tempt you. If he really cares about you then he'll divorce his wife and then start with you, But I'm taking a guess that he just wants his cake and eat it too! I always say either mend it or end it. Plus I think you need to take a look 5 steps ahead. If you did it, would you want more? Would he divorce? How would the office react? What if it ended badly, could you lose your career? Who would leave the job? How would that pay the bills? What if there are other women? What if one or you become pregnant? It comes down to he's lying to you and you would have no trust....because he would always be tempted. Let me know what you decide...I wish you luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): Would you really want to be "the other woman" that he just uses as a sex toy? He will most likely simply stay married to his oblivious wife while carrying on with you in secret. Your relationship will have to stay a secret, and he will never be able to treat you the way you would normally be treated by a boyfriend/lover.You are young and I imagine beautiful. Go out and find somebody who will give 100% of themselves to you. Don't waste your time or your body on some married man who will only toss you to the side eventually.
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A
male
reader, FamousWarrior  +, writes (31 March 2011):
 Stay away , you can do more damage than whats worth in pleasure.
Find a new fish in the sea.
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