A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, well i'm 16 and me and my boyfriend are getting serious and we want to have sex. I'm really scared because it's my first time, and i'm just really freaking out because i'm scared it's going hurt really bad. So i've been telling him no everytime, but i really want to have sex i'm just scared. So how bad dose it really hurt?????????? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, notshort +, writes (9 April 2008):
There is no doubt, you are not ready. The comments you made said so.
The best advice I can give you is to wait until you are married. There is no better gift you can give your new husband than your virginity the night of your wedding.
Once it is gone you can never get it back.
And sex would never be better with him except both of you had your first that night. Then the pain will not matter if there were any.
If it gets painful be ready with some lubricant.
A
female
reader, cuteblonde124 +, writes (8 April 2008):
 like a mother if he is bad, but not so much if he knows what he is doing. have fun
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): It hurt for me. I almost asked my boyfriend to stop due to the discomfort. And I was in my late 20s the first time I had sex; I thought that surely I'd have been "limbered up" down there at such a mature age. No such luck. Actually, it hurt the first few times. But maybe I'm weird. Everyone is different. You may experience pain, you may not. If you're scared, you're not ready to have sex. Wait until you're not so scared.
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A
female
reader, sarah_s  +, writes (8 April 2008):
 It seems your not quite ready to have sex at this stage because, your mind is focusing through this thought. Use lubrication as that could make less of the pain.
It doesn't hurt for the first for some women. Some bleed as well. Everyone's different. Hmmm. I don't want you to panic yourself.. but, if you want to know how badly it hurt from my first expereince it was really painful but, it'll settle and you wont remember how painful it was from the beginning. Be brave.
Best wishes. Sarah.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): honestly, i would advice you not to have sex with this boyfriend of yous no matter how much in love you think you are.,and if he pressurizes you toomuch that's a sign that you can do better than him. my goodness,i wish i had the opportunity you have,if i had someone to remind me why it's important that you give your virginity to your husband!i'd probably still be but trust me it's worth waiting for and remember that YOU CAN ALWAYS BE LIKE SOMEONE THAT'S NOT A VIRGIN BUT SOMEONE THAT ISN'T A IRGIN CAN NEVER EVER BE LIKE YOU AGAIN. p.s-i'm 17 yrs old.just turned 17. It doesn't hurt though i just pray you do the right thing.
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A
female
reader, Emajayne  +, writes (8 April 2008):
 now....i had sex when i was 15 years old. and i dont regret it...but i hate myself for it. i was an idiot and rushed. dont make the same mistake. u cant help if u like someone. if u really really like him, go for it. and it doesnt hurt...well..if it does u wont feel it cause u'll be too busy loving it if u love ur guy and are enjoying urself.
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A
female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x +, writes (8 April 2008):
 Some females it doesn't hurt at all. Other's it hurts a lot. No one can answer that question for you. Everyone's first time is different. It all depends on your body and your boyfriend. No one else can answer that for you.
Wishing you the best
xxx
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