A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm 14 and he's 15. We're friends with benefits! It started about a year ago with just fingering, then oral, then vaginal sex in all different positions and then anal. Now we just do whatever whenever. I think I'm falling for him, he's so lovely and funny and such a good mate, I've known him forever. He's so attractive too and my god his penis is huge! I really just want to pleasure him like he pleasures me. Any tips? Plus what are your views on this situation. Don't be too harsh though, it's my life and I can do what I want, innit mate!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): Hey,
Im also 14 and sorta in the same position as you, Me and "my friend with benefits" are the same age, 14, but we dont go as far as you, we stop after fingering and hand jobs. I fell for mine to .. hard. But Sweetie, take it from someone in the same position as you, You can find someone so much better you loves you for you. Not just sex. Im certainy not here to tell you how to run your life, its YOUR life, live it how YOU want. But if you and this guy havent started dating already , not to be harsh but, he might be using you. I learned that lesson the hard way, I told him I wanted to be more then that and he shot me down so fast. The point is, I thought he was something special, well he definitly wasnt. now im with someone much healthier and better for me, you could do the same. Im not sure if that really anwsered your question, but its just some advice.
P.s
Some of the earlier anwsers on here really piss me off. Like seriously? Stop trying to tell her how to run her life, she can do what she wants. And just because you are adults does not mean she is immature, it doesnt come with age. Give her some advice that can acctually help her in life, not make her feel worse about what shes done.
And who are you to call her a slut, I thought you were the "mature" one. Sorry if that was really bitchy, im just being truthfull.
A
female
reader, BadderzGirl +, writes (15 August 2009):
Okay, first off I'll start with the boring bits...YOU ARE UNDERAGE AND SO IS HE. He couldn't be done for statuatory rape since he is underage too so it would be lowered to a misdemeanor...have a look here, it's quite interseting if you want future reference http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statutory_rape Anyway you are contradicting yourself in a way; you said you are falling for him but you also 'just want to pleasure him like he pleasures me'...make up your mind sweetie.What you should do is gauge how much he likes you (flirting, how he acts when you have sex ect.) if he jokes about with you like a mate than you should cut it off since you're just going to get hurt since girls get emotionally attached during no strings stuff wuite often. If he does seem to like you...talk to him about how you feel and would he like to take it further to a relationship. If you both get along and have a good sex life, the only main difference is there will be the official title of BF and GF. And don't get nervous about talking to him...whats life without a little risk??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): Sweetie, you are a child. You are 14 years old. You should be concentrating on your school work, gossiping with your girlfriends, thinking about kissing boys, but certainly NOT thinking about having sex, let alone doing what you are! Do you realise your "boyfriend" could be charged with rape for what you are doing if someone chose to report it to the police?
I can see that you have been through a lot, but in many ways what you are doing is making the problems you are going to face in the future even worse. Are you sleeping with this guy as a way to make yourself feel better? Is it a way to make you feel safe and cared for? Prostituting yourself will not make your life any easier, and you are not putting your needs first. Having a hard life is no excuse for behaviour like yours - especially for a 14 yr old.
Listen to lovingarms - Imagine how you would react if your 14 yr old daughter was doing the things you have told us? What would you think? Does your mother actually know what you get up to? If you were totally happy with what you were doing, you would be open and honest with the "grown ups" in your life. Tell them what you get up to - see what they say.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiondont you get it? i've probably been through so much more than any of you! you have no idea mate!
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female
reader, loving arms +, writes (24 March 2009):
Well, hate to make you mad but, at 14 you are a child. I don't think there is anything anyone can say to you babe, to make you understand that even without knowing you the advice is for your own good.
I am a mother of 3, I would hate my sons' and daughter to be doing what you're doing. But I know that we cannot expect someone of 14 to se life through the eyes of someone who is well into adulthood. I wish you happiness darling and I hope that you do not regret what you've been doing. We cannot change the past but we have control over our future.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfair enough. yeah some of you have good advice and are entitled to your opinion. but do not carry on calling me immature i've been through a hell of a lot in my life: my best friend has brain cancer, i've never met a lot of people in my family one of whom being my brother and he hates me. he has stuck with me through all this as ive said he is my best mate! hes not like what you think, and i know, ok? i'm not laying it all out on the plate yeah? i'm not a slut, i've never even had a boyfriend before him, it just sorta happened. and i know the consequences, i'm on the pill and we use condoms. the future is the future, and yeah maybe some guys will be put off or just use me but i wouldnt just have sex, i'd have a relationship. and if it dont work well then they're not the right guy are they and i will just ahve to find the one. anyway whats to say that in 10 years time me and this guy will be married with kids. he loves me, he's said it a million times! we were together when we were younger and practically all our lives, i changed it to friends with benefits for a break cos i wasnt sure how i felt and now i feel i am in love with him and tbh always have been. i dont care if that sounds lame! anyway point is i know what i'm doing and i dont know why i posted it on here i justed wanted to see what people said yeah?! i've been through a lot and have had ti grow up a hell of a lot faster. i do most of the chores around the house because my mum has severe CFS and my dada is hardly ever around cos he's away on business to get us money, i've even got a part time job, and everything that i've been through too, how dare any of you say that i'm a child and immature!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): I agree with the other Aunts - you may be enjoying the sex now, sex is great, its fun and exciting - but in 5 years time (when you will still only be 19) you will look back with horror at what you have done, and wishing you had waited for a nice decent guy to lose your virginity to. Because you are young, you cannot fully grasp the full consequences of your actions. Have you considered things like pregnancy, STD's and possible infections that could make you infertile? Do you really think you are mature enough to deal with these things if they did happen? Would this guy stick around or would you just see the dust where he has legged it?Teenage boys will have sex with anything that moves given the chance. Socks, hands, stuffed toys, anything. You are laying it on a plate for this guy, and regardless of what he feels about you, he is going to keep coming back as you are an easy lay. You are offering your body to be used by him, whenever he wants. Yes you enjoy it now, but what if he doesnt want a "relationship" (as much as you could call it that at your age). He is in a win-win situation. You will fall for him, and he will hurt you. What do you plan on telling any future boyfriends ..." oh yes I am VERY experienced in sex, oral, vaginal, anal ... ive done it all". While this may excite a lot of men, if they are looking for something serious and long-term, they probably wont touch you. They will see you as someone who is easy, game for a laugh and only out for a quick shag. They will use you and dump you. You should get out now, before you do get really hurt, and start a cycle that will continue in your life. Sex is not the most important thing in life. If you were older and more mature, you would understand this. Please consider what everyone is trying to tell you - we are not judging you, as you say it is YOUR life,and what you do with it is your business - but we have all been through the growing up stage, and we have all made mistakes. We have experienced things and learnt from our experiences and are trying to pass on some of our own hard learned lessons.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): Well, then, calm down everybody! It's all just a misunderstanding! When the original poster said "Friends with benefits" she actually meant "he loves me and we practically have a relationship" and when she said "I want views on the situation" she was actually saying "please only compliment me and don't tell me anything I don't want to hear".
She's not immature, she just actually is A CHILD and has somehow convinced herself that she can have no-strings attached sex with a boy for A WHOLE YEAR.
Sweetie, you know it's wrong deep down. That's why you came here. And that's why you warned everyone in a advance not to be "too harsh". I hope you are at least getting tested regularly and are using protection. At the very least.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (24 March 2009):
 Well at least you are a happy slut. As long as you don't care that you will used, bruised and tattooed before you are even an adult I guess we Aunts shouldn't give a rip either.
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female
reader, revanchist +, writes (24 March 2009):
Despite your claims to maturity, you are acting like a child. That's because you are one. This is why there are laws against children, like you and your boyfriend, having sex.
Mature adults know how to handle the consequences of sex. You obviously don't.
That is the sensible view on your "situation."
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice and everything but:- i am not immature- he loves me, he wants to actually have a relationship- in fact we practically do- i was the one who started the no strings sex- he is not abusing me!- i just wanted views on the situation
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): Can I just add to the other aunts and uncles who have commented....
You say you are 14 and he is 15, yet you are doing things which even an experienced adult would find difficult to deal with. What you are doing is actually ILLEGAL. You are below the age of consent, and therefor he is abusing you both physically but also in his friendship with you. IF he really cared he would have waited until you were 16.
He is a young hormonal teenage boy, who has yet to gain control of his sexual emotions. You are providing an outlet for this. How do you know that he is not doing this with other girls his own age?
You say that you have been doing all these sexual things with this boy for a long time, yet only now find you have feelings for him. What if he doesnt want a relationship? Are you prepared to deal with the rejection that he only wants you for the pleasure you give him?
You are very naive, and your words show your immaturity.
I strongly suggest you move on, and concentrate on your growing up - you are still a child, regardless of how you may see yourself. There is more to life than sex. You have a whole lifetime of experiences waiting for you. You have a lot of things to learn about emotion, feelings and relationships. DONT waste this time. Learn from it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): If you are ok with just having no strings sex, then that's fine, but you said:
"I think I'm falling for him."
and that's the problem, that's why you WILL get hurt and must end this now!
In the past i fell for a 'friend with benefits' and when he found a girl that had more morals and demanded respect and to be taken out on dates, and commitment, before sex. He was both attracted to her heart and body. and dumped me without even caring for my feelings.
Guys want angels not bad girls. I know its unfair and harsh, but it's true! that's why your friend will never fall for you.
us girls can't separate emotion from sex and boys can.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): The previous agony aunt was right about you being deluded. If the sex is great and everything's fine, what are you doing here asking for advice? Arrangements like this NEVER work out. You are asking for trouble. Well, seems like you have trouble already. But whatever, you seem to think you are an adult and can do adult things, so man up and take the consequences like an adult! You'll realize later that if someone is good enough to be your friend, and know forever, and also have sex with regularly, then they are as good as a partner anyway.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbut i want the sex. i feel like i'm falling for him but i just want sex and friendship. and what affects do i have to live with? i'm glad i lost my virginity to him in every way shape and form! so what i'm 14 and he's 15? tell me why does it matter!? its amazing!!! his dick is like 9" long and 2" wide. anyway he used to love me, and maybe he still does. you're being so harsh about men. you not getting any or suttink? what do you mean 'live with yourself later' what does that mean? :) x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): Your deluding yourself. He's 15!!! You are only 14! Hope you realize girls fall in love in a relationship... Boys stay in lust.
You are setting yourself for a huge fall. You're starting to perceive pure sex as something else, it's not. If you don't want to get super hurt, pull out now.
Maybe later after this guy has some time out on the market, he'll be interested. But frankly, you'll never be able to trust what his intention is... You'll always be wondering if he's just going for another round of sex.
You're gonna hurt yourself soooo much the more you stay. At least keep your pride and self respect and do for yourself, reject this situation before he eventually throws you to the curb for the girl he's both attracted to heart and body.
Body means nothing..... and you'll have to live with yourself later. Its always complicated for a female.
Good luck. Hope you pick you.. He's not.
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