A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I had my first baby (10th april) she was a girl and is stunning, perfect the birth was pretty easy and im fine now. My boyfriend was at the birth and very suportive i live with him. And im really horny and want to have sex with him. But he cant he says when he saw me give birth he found it a turn off and wants to wait a while is he being selfish? He says he cant look at me in the same way? Also when i breast feed our baby he tells me to go some where else and to stop putting my boobs in his face! whats wrong with him im just try to feed are baby! im really upset by all this and he is making me feel unloved! any advice plz!!!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): Well your not being very supportive for his feelings either. From the way you put it, he is trying to be nice.
Maybe he should have seen a movie first along with a professional doctor or nurse.
I would chalk it up to being a prude, or being hit with reality. I know other guys that went through the same thing.
The best he can do is ponder it, and determine what exactly turns him off and why.
During birth, when the pain increased, you didn't by chance scold him did you. I know my wife did, blamed me for the pain LOL. I was shocked at first, but recalled the doctor warned me not to believe anything she said during delivery. As the years go on, some 10, 15 years later, she still tells me the same. Women can be knives: peircing. LOL
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): arrrrr I am so sorry to here that you are going through this.
First of all id like to say comngratulation on the birty of your new baby. Good on you for getting back to normlity as quickly as possible. He sounds like he is being a little immature and maybe was not ready to be a father. Remember his life has changed as much as yours. He saw you as a girlfriend before and now needs to adjust to the new you as a mother. Some men become jealous when a baby is born as they feel pushed out. This may not be fair on you as you are obviously thinking about your relationship too and are trying to rekindle the intimacy. You need to have a word with him and find out what his expectations are. Did his mother breast feed? Has he much experience of seeing babies being breastfed, Brestfeeding is not for everyone but the fact is you have chosen to breastfeed your daughter and he should be more supportive. He sounds a bit immature and self centred and there sounds like there might be trouble ahead but you are still in the early stages of the change. Give him time to get over the birth and the trauma in his head of what he witnessed but continue to talk to him and be supportive of his needs as well as your babies.
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A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (29 April 2008):
Firstly Congratulations on your baby! And secondly, this is a fairly common problem. His primary concern is for you and the baby and this has maybe somewhat sidetracked sex.He'll most probably come round soon once hes got used to the idea that you can be a mum and a partner too. As for the breastfeeding he probably just finds it a bit strange because its new to him, but you shouldnt have to leave the room, its the most natural thing in the world.
xxxxx
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A
female
reader, sweetheart03  +, writes (29 April 2008):
Wow give him time....I mean your body did change and he needs time to see everyone goes through it. Maybe you should give it a week and dress up real sexy for him and have someone watch the baby for an hour and a half then maybe he will see you in a sexy way not a mother who just gave birth good luck
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A
female
reader, Jazzy121 +, writes (29 April 2008):
Are you sure there is not a underlying issue behind all of this?Did he have a bad experience as a child OR does he feel rejected now you have to give more attention to the baby.Please try and remember none of this is your thought and he needs to take on a more mature approach to fatherhood. Trying helping him bond with the baby and insisting brest feeding is a natural process as well as child birth, Remind him you are the one that had to go through it not him!Why not let a male figure, he respects have a chat with him im sure he will come to terms with it afterJust make sure he bonds with the baby and try to stress to him the importance of these natural process's without being pushy...In the mean time, why not do somethings to him to help him get back in the swing of it (so to speak) or Masturbate ;)Keep us postedGood luck s
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