A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ive told my ex the baby i am carring is his,but its not.its from a one night stand,now im scared in case he finds out,im due to have my 10 week scan,next week.but i split with him 12 weeks ago,i know he does not believe me deep down,and he has booked time off work to come to scan,he is a lovely kind person,and i want him to be dad,i am still in love with him,should i let him think this baby is his? or be honest and lose him forever? kay.
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male
reader, riv  +, writes (16 May 2010):
You already know you cannot deceive him in this way.Sooner or later the truth would surely come out. A whole load of misery if it happens down the line.tell him the truth and ask if he wants to be the baby's adoptive father when it is born ? if not you can hardly blame him but some men ( not me ) would take it on.Perhaps you h
A
female
reader, AgonyAunt25 +, writes (16 May 2010):
 that's ok. Why are you still together with your ex? you DID say EX right?! so he really doesn't have any obligation towards you or the baby.
it's his call. he can forgive you and be a dad to the child and help support you, or he can walk out of your life hands clean.
I don't think what you did was deceiteful or coniving or hurtful. HE IS your ex after all. But it was a bit stupid in my opinion to get pregnant with a ONS, if that wasn't your plan.
Oh well, good luck and be happy! It's your life! Cheer up! It's not good for you and the baby.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007): Knowing that the baby is not his, and letting him think it is, and letting him raise it as his own for years and years? Doing this to him KNOWINGLY?
That is quite simply the worst betrayal you could possibly do to any man in this world. I cannot think of anything that would be worse. Not the cheating on him, not even sleeping with his friends. Nothing else is worse.
I hever never been a violent person at all. But I think I would literally murder a woman who knowingly did that to me and let the situation go for years and years.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): don't tell the guy. my ex had a child with another man and it breaks my heart every day. give him some peace until he finds out by accident someday
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): Do the right thing, it happened to me and as bad as it hurt my heart it would have hurt worse after the baby came.But don't expect keeping your guy, I'm sorry but It's hard loosing trust, your dreams as a dad, and try to keep the bond.Trust me He'll need time to work all that out
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): God Yes
stuff happens, be real, my husband knows I might be pregnant with another mans baby. He hasn't wanted to be with me, ha ha for 6 months, so, shit happens, sorry to be real. love ya, take care and dontever be ashamed of yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): God Yesstuff happens, be real, my husband knows I might be pregnant with another mans baby. He hasn't wanted to be with me, ha ha for 6 months, so, shit happens, sorry to be real. love ya, take care and dontever be ashamed of yourself.
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A
female
reader, ask paige +, writes (22 July 2007):
 ok theres only one thing i can say to that you REALLY need to be honest about this! i mean at the end of the day we are talking abut a child here, yes it may still be a foetus but in a few months you are going to have a child and another man who is not the father bringing this child up and knowing that it is his, is so not right! i understand that you love him and that you want him to be the father and if you are honest with him mabey he will want to be the father and for you 2 to have a relationship again mostly centered around bringing this child up, believe me not telling him sounds the easy way but it wont be worth it in the long run.good luck! be truepaige xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): Tell the truth now. The truth will come out one day anyway and imagine the hurt that everyone will have to go through then. What if the baby needs a blood transfusion and baby's blood group doesn't your partner's blood group? What if the baby has any genetic defect/illness, the truth will stare you in the face. What about any sort of genetic testing that might be done in the future, for whatever reason (becoming more common these days)? You will live in fear everyday that this bomb will explode in your face and life's (including baby's)will then be ruined. Sorry this is so harsh, but it is reality.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): BE HONEST... you cannot let another man raise this child believing it to be his,its not fair on him or the child,also what about his family?are you going to decieve them too? the truth is always right,if you lie and the truth comes out,it will have long term affects forever,if you really love him you must care about him,let him make his own mind up without you doing it for him.be brave and tell him before you have your scan,he will think more of you if you are truthful.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): That is a tough one kiddo!! I don't know your whole story, so it is very difficult for me to tell you what to do!! Actually, no one should tell you what to do, this is your decision and your's alone. What I can tell you is that if the real father of your baby wants nothing to do with you or HIS baby, lose him!! If this other guy truly loves you and you love him, tell him the truth. Tell him that you didn't want to disappoint him for the baby not being his, but you still love him and you would love for him to raise your baby with him as his own. Again, this is solely your decision and you must live with the outcome, so go with your heart and good luck!!
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