A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Help - He Doesn't Want to Have Sex with me but Watches Porn at every opportunity!!I live with my partner and we have been together about 6 years. For at least 2 years possibly 3 we have seldom had sex. However, by some miracle I am now pregnant!Pregnancy has increased my sex drive and I'm horny all the time. I'm afraid of rejection so am afraid to try and intiate sex, I'm scared he will stay soft. But I love and want him desperately!I have asked why he doesn't want to have sex with me and he says he just doesn't think about it. I've explained how unattractive this makes me feel but he still doesn't want it but carries on watching porn any time I'm not in (he is unaware know about this)!I don't know what to do. Please someone help me. I only have my partner to talk to about this and he doesn't seem to care.
View related questions:
horny, porn, sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007): honey, I'm having the same problem. My relationship with my boyfriend is pathetic right now as far as sex goes. We used to have sex 3-4 times a week. Now that I'm pregnant, Maybe it happens once every 2 weeks or so. And he LLOOOVVVEEESS his porn. So much that he would lie to me about it, even when I had proof.
I have a huge issue with porn. I think it tears relationships apart, and its wrong morally and ethically in relationships. Monogamy is just that...one person. Not all the porn stars you see on the computer. I've asked him about it, and even though I saw the cookie on his computer, he still said that he hasn't looked at it, or been to the site I asked him about.
I know he masturbates regularly, because of the lube amount decreasing. It's really starting to piss me off, but what can I do if he refuses to realize that there is a problem?
A
female
reader, Nevalearn  +, writes (7 July 2007):
I hate to tell you this, but I had the same problem when I was pregnant, and miracle I got pregnant in the first place. But have since found out that my hb has been sleeping with prostitutes. I'm sorry I haven't helped but watch your back.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2007): put it dis way, my boyfriend was watchin porn i smacked him n gave him one choice porn or me. he knew i was serious and he choose me he hasnt watched it since. he needs to no wots real babe n right now u and his baby are real porn r 4 desperate losers this may offend u but tell him n in my opinion he's sick. babe i hope everything truly works out for you xxx
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 July 2007):
 Dear anonymous, I'd hate to leave the problem just as it was before. We're here to help. I know pregnancy is a special period and I think this is when you are in a deeper need of support. If you should decide to, you can send me a private e-mail. Otherwise, I hope a female agony aunt will see your message and will help you.
Don't give up.
...............................
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (3 July 2007):
 Have you got any problem with him watching the porn say if things were different between you sexually, if not have you not suggested that you watch it together to see if that does anything for him, i personally find it a turn on and think there is no harm in it and maybe if you feel the same and he knows that it might help.
Other than that i am sorry i can not suggest anything else as all you say you have said to him you seem to get such negative responces, i know that some relationships do go through spells of one or both parties losing their sex drive, as it happened to myself luckily for me and my husband it did just return all of the sudden don't know why, because neither of us done anything differently.
Sorry if i have not been much help,
Take care.xx.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your reply Danielepew,
I have confronted him in the past re the porn and even though I have proof he denies it and gets angry at me!
You are right, there are underlying problems, I just cannot get to them.
Whenever I try and address anything he shouts blame and hurtful things at me. I'm not sure if he means them or is just trying to stop the dicussion.
I don't think there is anything I can do or anything anyone can suggest! Its an awful mess and I hate it.
Thanks for taking the time to reply though, it is much appreciated.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (3 July 2007):
I was tempted to say that some men feel it's inappropriate to have sex during pregnancy, but this is not the case, since you mention that during the past two-three years you've seldom had sex. So your pregnancy is not the issue.
There is obviously a problem with your relationship, and, from what I see, he's reluctant to talk about it. Sex is not the real issue; there's something behind it. I think you should try again to get him to deal with the problem, whatever it is. If I were you, I would tell him about the porn. He would have to face the issue. If I were you, I would be very strong about your pregnancy not being the problem, because it isn't.
The fact that your sex drive has increased is normal, from what I've heard. The increase complicates an underlying problem.
I think you should try to get him to talk. I can't think of any other option as of this moment.
Perhaps a private e-mail message would help. You could e-mail me, or perhaps you can wait until one of the female agony aunts contacts you, if you don't feel comfortable with a man. Irish49 and YummyMummy are very good aunts.
Hope this helps.
...............................
|
