A
female
age
41-50,
*picy Jinx
writes:Why is it that so many of the white guys I know that want a relationship with me wants one in secret? I'm tired of a guy saying I have a thing for Indian woman but no one can know about it. In public they would much rather be seen with someone from their own race. I don't understand this...I have gray-green eyes, long dark hair, tan skin, I'm 1.76m tall and have a good body...and I don't feel I come across as a woman only up for a good time behind closed doors. I'm confident with myself until I hear this and then feel rejected and inferior. Are they ashamed of me or my race? Either way it just hurts... Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (20 January 2013):
Because they wouldn't be accepted by their peers and they are too cowardly to deal with that.
If it bothers you (and it should) then you should dismiss them as soon as they say that and find yourself a man brave enough to treat you like you deserve.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2013): OP, You have the right and choice to date whichever race you prefer in whatever country you wish, even in the most multi-cultural societies prejudice and discrimination exists, but not everyone has the same opinion, your problem is finding a likeminded person like yourself whatever their race, and by having the knowledge of what to expect in term of people’s attitudes towards interracial dating will help you understand why people behave the way they do. This why, you will be able to sieve out the right men from the wrong. You are clearly aware of what you expect and what you will and will not tolerate, this is enough to realise that these are the wrong type of men.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2013): How about just dating someone of your own race? Ever think of that? :)
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 January 2013):
 I am surprised that you are surprised, don't you live in South Africa ? Did you move there recently ?
Of course it's because of your race.
South Africa, according a research done by their own Capetown University !, is one of the top most racist countries in the world. Sure, it was worse before the end of the apartheid, the ANC ( African National Congress )and Nelson Mandela, etc. But that it was worse before does not mean it is good now. In fact now, the difference is that... beside white supremacist, there also are black supremacists. The " coloured " minorities, like the 3% of population which is Indian like you, are caught in the middle,between a rock and a hard place.
One of my best friends lives in Johannesburg now, for Christmas she had over her 20something son ( white ) with his Egyptian, tan skinned girlfriend. She says it was quite a nightmare, it caused quite an uproar, plenty of raised eyebrows and plenty of unpleasant arguments in her all white community, and the two lovebirds after the first couple of days gave up any idea of sightseeing because when they where out they were mocked and commented negatively by youths clearly itching for a fight.
It is a sad state of things and , even if in South Africa too there are open minded ,intelligent, enlightened people actively striving to change it, atm it has be reckoned with. That should answer your question about why white guys won't show you off in public .
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2013): That is really unfair on you so i can why it upsets you, and you shouldnt put up with it. You should tell them to go and instead look for someone that deserves you because there good men out there who will love all of you and would love to have you on their arm. And not only are guys shallow for wanting a secret relationship but they are probably just after sex or if they are planning on having a proper relationship then they are pretty stupid because what would they expect to happen when it came to meeting each others parents. But i definately would not go there with them because i doubt that they have got good intentions and they are being disrepectful to you to even suggest it.
Hope this helps
...............................
A
male
reader, Askmeforananswer  +, writes (20 January 2013):
 I should say that u are right. It's 'coz of your race. Not only Indian, but also African race experience the same. If they really love u, why should it be in secret? They (yts) are sometimes mocked by friends for being with Africans or even Indian. Let them love u genuinly and not partially, For God's sake and not to play with u around.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 January 2013):
A man who needs to lie about who his girlfriend is because of social reasons is a very weak willed man indeed, and simply isn't worth your time.
I don't think on any way this reflects on who you are at all. I just think it shows that there are men out there who are weak and should be avoided. You absolutely should remain confident in yourself. Please try not to feel rejected and inferior when these pathetic men do this - it's not you who has the problem at all, it's them.
The moment a man says to you 'I have a thing for Indian women', you should just avoid them. You're looking for the man who says "I have a thing for you".
Don't give up. The moment a man like this creeps into your life, just sweep him aside. You deserve a lot better.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2013): You can only assume that they are only after a ‘friends with benefits’ situation. They seem to like the idea of having you as an object of their desire, but don’t want the responsibility of accepting your culture, family, accepting that they may also have to experience the discrimination and prejudice that comes with dating outside their race which would affect their status in society (if they allow it too). Not all white men are like this, you may come across one that is comfortable in his own skin and recognises that this is how it is and be proud to be seen with you. After a while you will be able to distinguish the difference.
...............................
|
