A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My first love and I broke up a month ago. We had been together for 2 years and even lived together. We broke up because we both have issues, but mainly because he wasn't ready to be with one person forever and because he was in denial about being addicted to porn and would blame me for it. Despite knowing we were right to end of the relationship, I miss him every day and I am having a hard time letting go. I loved him so much and we haven't spoken to each other because I told him I need time to heal and cannot just be his friend. I can't stop thinking about what he is doing and who or if he is dating since he put himself back on a dating site. He said he would always love me, but it hurts to think he could move on so easily and it makes me feel insignificant and invalidated. What do I do? Can anyone help me feel better about this? My heart is broken...
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addicted to porn, broke up, move on, porn Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2013): Don't take it that he didn't love you, this is probably just his way of moving on. You can move on too but you must not go looking for him, this means putting away photographs and things like this and this also means not looking at what he's doing because by doing this means that deep down you are not accepting it and if you don't accept it then you will not be able to move on. So instead you need to focus on yourself, this means keeping yourself busy.It's bound to be hard at first and when thoughts of him don't push them away because that won't do any good, you need to let the thoughts be there and move on with something else, and so you need to spend time with friends, find new hobbies and if you're into your job throw yourself into your job because he is bound to come into your mind because its also a habit, and when you want to change a habit it is always easier to not try to stop the habit but to replace it with a new one, and you also need time although I bet right now you wish that you had a quick fix, but time is the best healer of all. You need to put new habits into place and then you can make your life better so do this and your get there.All the best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2013): im very sorry for what happened to you. i hope nothing but the best for you. healing is a process that takes time. be patience.
the post of R1 caught my attention and i respectufully disagree with her. for men when are who were really in love and then break up is devastating. girls are constantly hit on,specially the cute ones. so they are been asked out so often that eventually agree to go out on a date with somebody. when it comes to a male he is the one who has to do the aproaching to a girl and if he is heartbroken, the aproach is dificult, almost impossible. just something for the record and to think about it.
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A
female
reader, Her awesomeness  +, writes (20 January 2013):
 Hey am sorry for what happened but you should know you did it for the best reason.. the world is not overi know how it feels to lose your first love,,mine broke my heart too and i was tarnished for daysbut you know what? Time heals all wounds....give it some time and occupy yourself with other thingsand no matter what you do don't try and talk to him until you know you are over himhope this helps :)
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (20 January 2013):
 Men respond very differently to breakups and can move on to a new relationship more quickly. You need to focus on you. After a month of feeling sorry for yourself it's time to get back out there, go out with friends, book a holiday, take up a new hobby. Try to avoid any info about him, hearing he is seeing someone else will make you feel worse, it's better not to know.
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