A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey everyone i really need some help... im not sure whether i actually had sex or not... i know that this seems weird but im really not sure, ive been with my partner for a year and a half now yet i always vowed that i was gonna stay a virgin till marriage... however last night we were fooling around and just messing around but we bacame very close to having sex...like i think it went inside but cant be sure... i asked my partner and he said it did kinda go in but not all and then i started stressing out and he was like hes not sure if it went in like all the way... im sooooo confused and i just wnna know whether it happened or not... so where do i go or how do i go about knowing whether it appened or not Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BaileeKS  +, writes (24 August 2008):
i would probably say you did not, i mean my first time hurt like hell.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey thanks so much for making me feel slightly better... ive been crying literally all day
like i think it went in but it didnt hurt or anything... i felt something but thats it... there was no thrusting and literally no movement hardly... as soon as i felt something different i got off and thats it not forgetting that i went completlllyy mad... though he was sorry and he didnt realise how important it was to me and promised me that even now if i decide to do it he wont let me as he knows how much it means to me...
i didnt bleed and it not hurting its just im going to the toliet alot more lol but im still not sure on how i should check that i diffinatly didnt have it.. how do i check if my hymen is still intact
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): You would have most probably been able to feel something if you are indeed a virgin and it was your "first time". So it probably grazed just the outside, but didn't go through.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): Hmmmmm... His penis may have been inside you but is that sex? if there was any thrusting then it was sex. lol. If he left a jizzbiscuit in there, it was sex. I wouldnt consider sticking it in then pulling it out quickly sex though. Its more how you feel. If its eating away at you and you find youre lying to yourself and denying it then you probably did "have sex". If you a genuinely uncertain and you feel no angst then i think youre safe. Or you could check if your hymen is still intact?
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A
female
reader, miso31 +, writes (22 August 2008):
Okay, first of all relax. I admire your convictions but I imagine this is the man you are going to probably be spending the rest of your life with right? I have a few thoughts. If you want to get technical, I think you're a virgin if your hymen didn't break. I'm assuming there was no blood. Plus, it clearly wasn't sex. There was no pumping/thrusting etc. But honestly, I don't think you have to worry and you did not do anything wrong, absolutely.However, if the man your with knows your a virgin and still attempted to put his penis in your vagina during the heat of the moment, are you a little miffed at him? There's no way someone accidentally puts their penis in you, even just a little. He should respect your feelings on this if it's important to you. He might be getting frustrated though if you guys are getting completely naked and not getting on though! You guys may need to have another discussion about this and make sure your both on the same page about waiting until marriage.
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A
female
reader, Emj85 +, writes (22 August 2008):
 HiyaIn answer to your question, if it went in all the way you would know about it - seriously if its the first time your hymen gets broken which is a piece of skin in the opening of your vagina. Are you bleeding? Did it hurt? Email me if you would like to chat privately but from what you have said it sounds like it only touched the surface. Just make sure you choose to lose it with someone you love and trust. Hats off for waiting until you are married. Hope this helpsEmxx
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