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female
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*atelyn
writes: Hi I've known by boyfriend since July 2005 but have only been dating seriously since December 2005. We have been getting on great and he wants us to go on holiday together soon and has already bought my birthday present even though it's not until July. I've noticed he's been a bit quiet lateley and lost his temper with me for the first time this weekend. I think the reason is that his father is not well but he refuses to talk to me about it. Today (Tues 2/5) he txt me saying his dad has just been taken into hospital and perhaps we should leave things for a while. Can you give me any advice please as I's so confused and can't understand why he is doing this to me? Should I pester his or leave him be?Katelyn
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2006): yeah just give him time to get over it, maybe once his dad is better then you have a conversation about it. Let him have some space, do what you did before your guys were together, apart from picking up other guys :D
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female
reader, rhubarbeque +, writes (3 May 2006):
 Right now, it seems like your guy is under quite a lot of stress and he may not feel comfortable sharing that with you. I doubt that he is acting this way to hurt you -- he sounds like he's going through a tough time and probably needs to figure some stuff out. In terms of what you should do, you could call/contact him to see if there's anything you can do to help and let him know you are there for him IF he needs you. Don't push yourself on him -- he might just need his space for a little while. Don't pester him about your relationship because it seems like he already has a lot on his plate. I'm sure he'll come around soon. It sounds like he was planning on a long term relationship with you, and that most likely hasn't changed. For now, being there when he needs you is the best thing you can do for him. Best of luck to you!
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female
reader, Ainley +, writes (2 May 2006):
 Wow im so sorry for you im personally in the same boat my friend and all i can say for you is that he sounds such a nice guy so i feel can say this, be patient just let him know your there for him and let him call you. as for you your going to have a lot of sleepless nights/crankyness and blubbering so i say get the girls together and distract yourself to oblivion that is if you think hes worth it?x
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reader, kt  +, writes (2 May 2006):
 i think that he needs sometime alone to get his head together. what he is going though would be hard for anyone. maybe he knows he wont be able to give you the right amount of time and attention, so he wants to leave it for awhile. my advise is just be there for him as a friend, i cant even imagine what he is going though and he needs as much support as he can get.
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female
reader, Angelicc +, writes (2 May 2006):
 Okay well, i don't wanna sound mean but you sound kinda of selfish saying why is he doing this to me. You say yourself that he's going thru a hard time he's dad just gone into hopsital. this is a situation that he can't control, it's obviously upsetting to him.
i don't think you should pester him about your relationship i think you should give him the time and space that he needs. try to understand that might be what he needs, all you can do is support him and be there to him.
maybe the time out will be good for you to.
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female
reader, yourstruly +, writes (2 May 2006):
 Hi sweet i can completely understand where you are coming from i myself dated a man that lost his mother and he too acted in this way.It is so hard too know what to do for the best all i can suggest is be there for him and support him in the best way you can. He is going through a hard time at the moment and this is most likely going too put a strain on your relationship all i can say is ride the storm with him and just be there.I know this has also got to be a very confusing time for yourself but just explain too him that you are there too help. You do need to be strong too get through this time but you will find it may make you stronger together. Keep your chin up sweet and try and support him the best way you can.Iv'e been there and it does get better it's just people with different circumstances and people deal with grief in there own ways. Hope this helps in some way.xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2006): to me this seems to be a problem of communicaton. Men dont do well with upsetting emotions. If I were in this sittuation I would let him know that I understand he is going through a rough time an that I am his friend and will be here if he needs me but also respect his wishes and dont bother him if he realy wants you he will come around. Every one deals with saroww in diffreent ways some times being alone is one of them.
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A
female
reader, Anja +, writes (2 May 2006):
 Give him the space he needs right now. Most men keep things bottled up, they tend to not admit how they really feel...they need to withdraw into themselves for a while to work out what is going on. He is dealing with this in his own way. You say you have been getting on well and hol booked etc...so there is no problem with the reltionship...it's definately his Dad and it sounds serious. Just be there for him, don't bring the subject up. I would suggest even postponing the hol if poss if it's soon, then that will allow him to be there for his Dad. He will come back to you when he's ready, tell him you love him very much and let him know you are there for him, that's all you can do for now! Hope all works out ok. xx
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