A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:hi, im 22 and my bf is 25, this is my 2nd serious relationship and his first. the problem is that he doesnt trust me at all, i dont really know what to do, its got to the point that i dont go anywhere without him unless he knows where i am...he reads my diary (which i use as a kind of therapy, just writing thoughts and things down that i have done during the day). and has made me stop contacts with most of my male friends....its got to the point where i dont trust him (especially because him looking at my diary)...what should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (9 January 2007):
 Being his first relationship, your boyfriend needs to learn some boundaries. It is up to you to define them and NOW.
Your diary is your private space, if you do not want him reading it, stop him.
A bit concerned that with his possessive way but you need to be responsible for his behaviour as you allow it to continue. This is "control freak syndrom" developing.
Have a serious chat with him and establish some ground rules if he really wants to stay with you.
You need your own space and go out without him sometimes, otherwise you may later resent him for not allow you to express yourself.
If you have given him no reason for not trusting you, he needs to give the opportunity to improve.
He certainly has no right to tell who to make friends with or not. By giving in, say in a few months time, the relationship ended, where would you be? With no friends and very lonely. Your current friends may be understanding but they cannot be supportive if you push them away.
Be strong and good luck
A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (8 January 2007):
 Obviously you must do what you feel is right, but something is not ringing right with this guy.
Im sorry but the way he is acting this relationship is doomed to fail, you must feel like you can't breath. As for your diary, that is a most personal thing, i would be furious if someone read mine. And why should you get rid of your male friends because of his insecurities.
Like the first Aunt said, free yourself why you still can...
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (8 January 2007):
 Drop him like a rock.
He's an insecure control freak. He wants to pin you into his butterfly case. . . but butterflies are meant to be free.
Free yourself now, while you still can. . . .
Good luck!
p.s. - Watch the movie "The Collector" with Terence Stamp. That will open your eyes.
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (8 January 2007):
 There's something not quite right with this guy.
Where did he get the idea that he can tell you who not to be friends with?
And everybody knows a diary is personal (my boyfriend kept one for a while and a knew without even having to ask him that it was for his eyes only), so why does he think he can read yours?
Did you talk to him about how you feel?
I understand that since it's his first relationship he might be a bit insecure, but this guy is way too controlling.
If he doesn't change the way he behaves, I suggest you let him go.
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A
male
reader, Big boy +, writes (8 January 2007):
 I feel that you should do what you think is best for yourself. May be he is scared that one day you might leave him for someone else, for all you know he could he is protective and jealous, that ain’t good I tell you that not to that extent, every body needs a bit of privacy, tell him what you feel in the best way you can, and see what happens. He needs to respect your privacy, and the way you respect his. I feel that he needs a regular assurance that he is the number one in your life... that’s all he needs to know.
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