A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am sad to admit that I am a victim like in that book, "He's just not that into you".I met this guy in early June that I've been dating since. At first he was putting a lot of pressure on me to be in a sexual relationship with him but I didn't feel comfortable so I stood my ground. Since then I felt a little bit more comfortable and we've had sex twice but I still wasn't sure if I was feeling him so I was kind of distant, moody, even tried to break up with him but he talked me out of it. Since the last time we had sex, however, which was about two weeks ago, he's become very nice. He contacts me more often (which he said is not his thing at first), he's very affectionate so he'll hold my hand and stuff, but he doesnt even try to initiate anything sexual anymore. On the one hand, I feel very nice and respected. On the other hand, I'm so use to things going to shit after you've slept with someone I'm very confused. Like that book said, if he's not sleeping with you he's not that into you... or does he just like me enough to realize that I wasn't feeling the relationship and to slow it down to make it more comfortable for me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (13 August 2008):
 It sounds as if he's seeing you as a person and not just sex. Your past choices and experiences developed the way you believe you should continue to experience relationships. You sound as if you've learned from your past experience because of your not just giving into sex. But, even so, it seems as if this person remained with you even though you weren't giving in.
I hope everything works out for you.
A
female
reader, Emaz help  +, writes (13 August 2008):
 Because you're used to it being the other way round, you're confused because it's different
He sounds like he likes you more even though he did pressure you into things
Just because a book says something, it doesn't mean it's always going to happen that way round
If he doesn't want to sleep with you because he doesn't like you that much (which doesn't sound like its the case) then he should be man enough to tell you, but as he's being affectionate in other ways i'd say he still likes you.
A little something called communication might help
=]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2008): I can understand your confusion BUT you should be talking to him about how you are feeling; you need to discuss the way the relationship is going with him. He is the only person who will be able to explain/justify his behaviour.
We can all suggest things and guess about his motives, BUT your real answer will be from him.
Honest and open communication is very important; I suggest you talk to him.
Best wishes and lots of SMILES.
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