A
female
age
36-40,
*elp i'm confused
writes: I need help I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I've got a 3 year old son with him, and I've just found out I'm pregnant again. I should be happy but I'm not, I don't think i love him anymore. i'm miserable all the time he hasn't done anything wrong and i feel so guilty but i can't help the way i'm feeling. As the days go by the more and more i'm thinking i don't want to be in this relationship and i know i've got my son but its not fair on him cus if i'm miserable i'm making my partner miserable, and its going to rub of on my son. i want him to be happy and i don't think i will ever be happy with him again i'm just so bored with my life. Help what shall i do? i know my partners family am gonna hate me but i can't help the way i'm feeling i've tried, but i've felt like this for about 6 months. its gonna kill him but its not fair on any of us for me to stay in this relationship because its only putting off the inevitable. please help me am i wrong and being cruel if i finish it? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 May 2010):
You're not wrong or selfish or cruel or anything like that if you finish it. But be sure you've done everything you can before you do. If he's done nothing wrong, and you've only felt like this for 6 months, then maybe this is something that can be fixed. Sometimes, couples get too bogged down in real life and stop spending time with each other. He might not be doing anything wrong, as such, but maybe you two just need counselling and just need to spend time together again. I would suggest that you try that first. At least then you know you gave it all you could. Better than just leaving and in a few years realizing you made a mistake. Tell him you're worried, get him to start doing more and try to fix it if you can. Then if you can't, you'll know that leaving is the right option.
A
female
reader, iiSparkle +, writes (27 May 2010):
 5 years is a pretty long time, and you have a son, and another child comming on the way, do you think you can support the children finacially? If you can, then i say you should try and talk with your partner, seeing as theres no point "drowning" in the relationship by staying with him.
What feels right to you, personnaly i think you should let him know how you feel and then arrange something.
If you do split up, he could still see the kids and hang around but you wouldnt be in the relationship. I understaand that his parents may hate you, but i suppose its better to tell him now than to stay in the relationship getting more and more depressed, which could cause arguments and affect the children.
Best of Luck :) x
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A
female
reader, s4ndy +, writes (27 May 2010):
No hun youre not being cruel if you feel so desperate and you sound as though you do, be strong and end the relationship, as you said yourself you child needs a happy atmosphere, and children easily pick up on your feelings. You owe it to yourself to be happy, sometimes love does die and theres no way of getting it back. You know what the right thing is to do...... just gather the strength to do it. Good Luck babes
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A
female
reader, Casandra  +, writes (27 May 2010):
 I think your mind and heart are in the right place with this issue. No one is benefitting from you, your other half, or your son being unhappy and involved in tension. I come from divorced parents and I can say as a child I could tell things weren't perfect and when they finally decided to split (although several years after their marriage was really dead) it was a god send... You deserve to be happy and to be in love with someone. Your son deserves to have happy parents. Your boyfriend deserves to know how you feel and to not be strung along. I know having a kid (or two) makes things difficult but being around miserable parents is worse than having parents in two different houses... Hopefully this helps a bit...
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