A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I went out with a guy once, and I wasn't really attracted to him. He's called me a few times since then, and we had great conversations on the phone. He has many good qualities--he's intelligent, has a good job, he's friendly, he actually seems to like me...but I just don't think I'm attracted to him physically. Is that something that could change with time? Is it wrong for me to got out with him when I don't think it's going to lead anywhere? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): I am having the same problem!!!!!!!!!!sometimes i am attracted to him, but he is 20 lbs skinnier than me! and i am very attractive and know that i can find an attractive man. i usually look for someone who isn't very attractive because then i feel less pressure that he will cheat. this is backfiring though, b/c when he gets dressed for work, I am really turned off. he tucks his shirt in, and he is really scrawny. I am 5'2" and when I wear heels, I am almost taller than him. Then other times i am. it's very confusing.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): I dated and had sex with a guy for almost a year that I wasn’t physically attracted to but he had wonderful qualities. I tried to make myself from him attractive but I couldn’t. Oh, and I would think of someone else whenever we had sex. I would rarely let him kiss me with the lights on because I didn’t want to look at him. He wasn’t ugly many found him attractive; I didn’t. In this case, it didn’t get better. I say let him down gently and keep looking for someone that you are attracted to physically and emotionally and that has many, not all, of the characteristics you looking for in a person.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007): Well darling the only thing I will say is even though he has fantastic qualities it will not be good for you to be with someone that does not attract you no matter how nice they are, they still are't what you want. Your feelings will not change with time because things will just be worse. I am sorry but I could never string somebody along just because they have a nice personality and a good job, I would let him down gently as he does seem a nice person but it's up to you to decide for the best.
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A
female
reader, Farris  +, writes (3 June 2007):
 So long as you do like the man, then keep seeing him! As you've wondered, things do change as you get to know a person, and it is very likely that your feelings for him physically can change. Often physical attraction can come directly from the attraction you have for his personality!
My advice is to see him at least a few more times. See whether anything starts to spark, and if not then be kind and just tell him that you just want to be friends because you don't feel a "spark".
Best wishes!
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A
female
reader, candy00s +, writes (3 June 2007):
 I dated this guy for a couple of weeks knowing i didnt find him physically attractive, but i thought id give it a chance. I ended it and he was really mad that i lead him on. oops!
I think that if you dont think of him like that now then are you going to even when you get to know him? perhaps you might be better off as mates?
You could give it a chance, get to know him better and see if your feelings about it all change?
If you have already decided that its not going to go anywhere then probably is better you end things.
xxxx
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (2 June 2007):
 You don't fancy him physically at the moment but you do enjoy his company and have great conversations with him and you admit he has many good qualities. I'd say that's a good start! Lots of people who have successful relationships tell you they weren't attracted to their significant other at first, they couldn't stand one another or never gave them a second glance yet the spark was there in other areas. As you grow and get to know one another better you see each other through different eyes. Chemistry between two people isn't always instant, sometimes it grows, for example... you never noticed his cute dimple before when he smiled, you never noticed how his nose creases when he laughs etc.
I would certainly go out with him and continue getting to know him and enjoying his company. Who knows where it may lead in the future.
Eve
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