A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How can I attract some female attention?I'm kind of shy and not good at flirting but I'm a nice guy and I'm not hideous but i'm 28 years old and I've only had sex twice, and that was 2 or 3 years ago.I was going out with a girl for two years but she was only 18 when we started going out and wasn't ready for sex but we still had fun together. When we broke up I was really heartbroken, but it's been almost 9 months now and I think I'm at a point where I'm over it, but my confidence is still very low. The trouble is I was lucky to have my brief time with my ex because it all happened out of nowhere. And I don't think I can wait for luck to smile on me again.I don't think I want to get into another relationship again so soon but I want to have a little fun before I'm past my prime without being sleazy about it. I'm no stunner but I'm not the elephant man either, and I'm not a bad guy.I've given up drinking recently because I find it only depresses me, my two best friends are tall and really good looking guys, so when we are out I'm invisible next to them anyway. So how do I meet somebody? Please help me, because I don't know what I can do.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bday121  +, writes (9 May 2008):
 Don't underestimate the power of personality! I'm sure you have a beautiful personality that you can use to your advantage. Looks are absolutely NOT as important as people make them out to be.
Also, a lot of girls love confidence. I personally don't care about confidence in a guy, in fact I like a more medium than high level of confidence, but whatever. Lots of girls like it. Try to feel the best that you possibly can about yourself. Not drinking is a plus in that case. Build up some confidence and approach a woman you like.
Keep in mind, though, that arrogance is a real turn-off. There's a fine line between confidence and arrogance; just be sure not to cross it!
A
female
reader, ozgirl  +, writes (9 May 2008):
Firstly, alcohol doesn't mean meeting women.. so it's probably a really positive thing that you haven't been drinking :)
Secondly, instead of meeting women through/with your single male friends perhaps you could try asking your already partnered mates to introduce to one of their single female friends or their one of their girlfriends single friends? Of course this way you also have the benefit of somebody vouching for the 'normalcy' of the person you are about to meet!
To echo what sarahisgreat123 said, most intelligent and well balanced women understand that physical attractiveness doesn't hold a candle to an awesome personality/great sense of humour/wonderful sensitivity etc.
It might help to take up a new sport, go to a new gym or socialise at a new venue. Not only will you meet new friends and improve your confidence in social situations, you will also open up more opportunities to meet women!
Goodluck!
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A
male
reader, Passthrough +, writes (9 May 2008):
 Try some dating sites, or places where people like you might hang out.
Smart nerdy only mostly-attractive guys like myself (Thins, pastey, messy hair) are wanted expressly by few, but indirectly by many. Make use of your good features, and sell yourself a bit to deteur from low self esteem and anti-social tendencies.
You can meet people anywhere if you really want to.
Also, get some ulgier friends.
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A
female
reader, sarahisgreat123 +, writes (9 May 2008):
Ya sure girls like really attractive guys but I also know that we value personality a lot! I am a lot younger than you but I can speak for I believe all girls that we like a sensitive guy who we can talk to... Just be a good listener. I feel like for guys, the key to getting girls is being sensitive w/o crossing over into the gay territory... Although I know there are many women who have been heart broken because they have fallen for a gay man!
The point is, find you sensitive side and u can attract any girl!
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