A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am married to wonderful man. We are white with two sons. Recently I have become infatuated with a black man at work. He is a polite and gentlemanly. I find myself thinking and fantasizeing about having sex with him. Is it wrong to have a interracial relationship with this man. I’m sure he would be willing as he is divorced for three years.
View related questions:
at work, divorce, I work with Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Anon21  +, writes (22 December 2021):
OP why do you want have sex with another man when you say you have a wonderful husband? Is this to full fill a fetish to have sex with a black man. As they say a black man has a larger penis than white men etc.
You are damaging your marriage as your focus is not on your husband but another man. You don't know where this could lead. You may continue to have sex with him, tell yourself you are in love with him etc. What happens if your husband finds out and leaves you.
Put the boot on the other foot, how would you like to find out that your husband had sex with another women to scrath an ich.
People in good marriages when they go through hard times, when their marriage are in a rut they work through them and talk about them they do not go looking else where.
Work at your marriage and spice things up your sex life with your husband, you may end up being grateful that you did rather than destroy your marriage.
Good Luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2021): Dear Mature Lady, appetite you can get it wherever you want provided that you always eat at home, till the day you get the courage to ask your "wonderful" man for his permission for a FWB experience. Maybe you get a nice surprise!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2021): Hard to fathom all your doubts and hesitations. In our days, a wife having an affair is nothing special, moreover when it seems you crave for it a lot. It doesn't mean you don't love your husband anymore, it only means your sexual drive is, momentaneously, focused on another man. Maybe an affair might spice things up in your marriage that is kind of flat beer. So, my advise: go ahead, do it, try it. Your husband doesn't need to know it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2021): You make a big point of it being inter racial, it would be wrong if he were blue, green, purple or covered in pink spots. His colour has nothing to do with it.
...............................
A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (7 December 2021):
"Is it wrong to have a interracial relationship with this man?" Yes, it would be very wrong and quite disgusting. Not because of his race but because YOU are married.
The other two aunties have said the rest. So you've got a crush on him - you don't have to act on it. And you shouldn't if you truly love your husband.
I agree with YCBS. I think this is a wind-up too.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 December 2021):
 What in the World does "interracial" have to do with cheating?
Sounds like YOU are fetishizing black men.
But why ask random strangers? Hoping someone will tell you to go ahead and have fun with a coworker?
TALK to your husband. He is the only one besides you and the coworker who would be affected.
You are OLD enough to know better.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (7 December 2021):
 Really? The fact it would be inter-racial is what stands out for you? Not the fact you want to throw yourself at another man when you are married to - in your own words - "a wonderful man"? If he's so wonderful, perhaps the best thing you can do is let him go so he can find someone who is equally wonderful?
Pretty sure this is a joke and that you know what most aunts and uncles on this site think of cheaters but I'll play along.
You are making some big assumptions about this work colleague, most importantly that, just because he is divorced, he has no morals and will screw a married woman because she throws herself at him. Divorced does not mean "desperate for anything". If he really is a gentleman, he will be horrified at your offer. If he does take up your offer, imagine what he will think of you afterwards. Remember, you have to carry on working with him.
Being in a relationship does not prevent us from finding other people attractive. What we choose to do about that attraction is what defines our moral compass. Yours badly needs resetting.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2021): "Is it wrong to have a interracial relationship with this man.[?]"
Go ask your husband.
Do your wedding vows mean anything to you?
Is cheating on your husband wrong?
Do you just want sex with him because he's black? People of all colors belong to the human race; and sex with people for the sake of a "racial-fetishization" might be considered racist and offensive. If you liked the man for who he is, paying no attention to his race; it's still wrong to cheat on your husband.
Don't presume the man is interested in committing adultery. If he is polite and gentlemanly, then he probably has morals and self-respect.
Making sexual-advances towards coworkers can be construed as sexual-harassment. Your workplace isn't a hookup station or mingles-bar.
He's divorced, but you're still married. We don't have to act on every impulse or make every fantasy come to pass.
Keep your fantasies to yourself, and continue loving your husband.
...............................
|
