A
male
age
30-35,
*Jay
writes:Just wanna know what your opinions on this. Well, I'm currently living alone in one of my dads house. The thing is, I dont mind living alone, but seriously, it's boring. I got no one to talk to, my girlfriends too far away. I mean, really far away. The neighbours aren't that friendly eventhough they're the same age like me. I wanna move in to my friends shared apartment, which they offered me to live in with them. (a guy and 2 girls living there) But my girlfriend 'forbids' me moving in with them.She's scared that I might cheat on her and threatened to break up with me if I move in to their apartment. What should I do anyway? I really wanna move out but I dont wanna break up with her.
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female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (2 December 2010):
Hmm hard one. I really know what it's like wanting to move out but not really being able to. And then this comes along and seems like the perfect way to get out of there.
I´ve always been a trusting girl. Not naively so. I'm not blind, but my motto is that when you love someone you need to trust them and that being paranoid about something you have no oversight over is useless. If someone wants to cheat, he/she will do it anyway, and the ironic thing is that the watchful eye/controlling behavior actually makes the risk of cheating bigger.
I think you should tell your girlfriend that you love her and think highly of her and that your disappointed she doesn´t seem to hold you in the same regard. Tell her you´re just really tired of living with your parents and that you want to stay at that place until you find/are able to afford something better. Tell her you would trust her to be loyal to you in this situation. And then discuss it. Don't tell her like you've made up your mind, because then she'll feel like you've completely disregarded her feelings. Just discuss it with her and see what comes out.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): I would be the same if my boyfriend wanted to move in with two females. The simple answer is find some male flatmates
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 December 2010):
 I am less adamant than my fellow aunts.
I had a male roommate for about a year , we were both in relationships, and nothing ever happened , we treated each other as brother and sister. It's not that if you share space then you must end up in bed together.
But...
I guess it also depends from your track record. Has your gf any reasons to feel insecure ? have you ever been caught, if not cheating on her, - I don't know, maybe texting to strange girls, or visibly oogling girls in the street ? are you a notorious flirt ?... Or,simply, are you a person who is easily influenced and dragged into situations not of your own making ?...
If your answer is "absolutely not ", then your gf is too controlling. Tell her that good relationship are based on trust,that if she never had a reason to doubt you so far, why it should be different in future, reassure her about your feelings for her, and...bring her around to meet your perspective roomates.
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A
female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (1 December 2010):
 I can see why your girlfriend would be worried and think that this is how things happen...
Get a male friend to move in with you, or like already said move in with somebody else as long as the person isn't female.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (1 December 2010):
 Simple, don't move out. Or move in with someone else.
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